One of the reasons I mentioned Cathy as being a super-cool chick and all (in the post after this), is that parts of this might fall under the "well, that seems a bit mean" category.
What got this particular hamster spinning in the wheel was something that Owen's Mom wrote the other day. Seems she's preparing to have the second spawn (a tip of the hat to Vicki's very funny "spawn" post of last week). The theory being that if you're going to have multiple kids they should be relatively close in age (OM's hubby has, in the past, expressed a desire to have six or seven children. If that still holds it means OM should get used to the fact that she's not having another good night's sleep this decade or the next. I'm not optimistic about the one after that, for that matter). OM, and others, believe that siblings grouped around the same age interact better with others, learn better social skills, share more and are generally mentally healthier.
Mentally healthier than what, you might ask? She doesn't say it in the post, but she has to me in the past. So has Cathy. Healthier than only children.
Only children are damaged goods. This has been said to me. Now, it's mostly in teasing and I laugh it off. If you're an only child, you've heard most of the jokes. "So they had you and decided not to risk anymore." That sort of thing (The rebuttal, by the way is "No, they had me and realized you can't do any better than perfection.")
I've met only children who have been the life of the party. Very sociable and outgoing and the theory is they're overcompensating for not having any brothers or sisters to play with. Then there are only children who are loners, and the theory is they're like that because they didn't have a brother or sister to play with and didn't develop social skills.
I don't know, honestly. I never gave it much thought. I didn't have any siblings and that was just fine with me. Too many of my friends growing up had siblings and couldn't stand them. I was considered "lucky" because it was just me. I wasn't spoiled. My parents certainly had no problem saying "no" to me if they felt I was being unreasonable. Do I tend to be slower making friends than others? Maybe. It can take me awhile to warm up to someone. Can I spend lots of time alone and not go insane? Absolutely. I enjoy time by myself.
But I think I dealt with this a lot in adulthood. You don't get to be a journalist and be shy. You won't last long in the business. Anti-social writers go by another name - authors.
Is this because I'm an only child? I have no earthly idea. And at the risk of getting loads and loads of responses from friends with anecdotal evidence to the contrary, I don't think I'm that screwed up. I'm an only child, and I'm just fine. Undamaged, as it were.
I mention all of this because Cathy has stated that IF...…
Note to family, friends and other pests: That's a big freakin' IF you're seeing there. There are no immediate plans to have children. The Five Year Plan is still firmly in effect. We work and live in Iqaluit, save lots of money, travel to cool places and then at the end of it, decide what we want to do next. Kids are not part of the Five Year Plan as they will hamper the trip to Australia. Travelling is much more important to us than kids right now.
Inquiries on if we are pregnant or thinking about it will be met with mocking and disdain.
…...anyway, if we decided to have children, then obviously we're going to have two of them. Because - see the above theory - only kids are damaged. Why she married me then, I do not know. Perhaps she wanted a fixer-upper...
I'd just as soon figure out if we (mostly me) can handle having one kid before leaping into the whole "more than one kid" thing. For all I know, two kids might just mean twice the fucking up on my part. Two kids can end up just as damaged as one if you don't have a clue as to what you're doing. Lord knows there's enough proof of that out in the world.
Then again, who knows, maybe I could do it. Some of my friends were drunks and boarderline criminals (as are most aspiring journalists, I hasten to add) when I met them 15 years or so ago. Now they are respectable parents. Anything is possible.
Echoes - Pink Floyd