Thursday, December 04, 2008

Prorogue me, baby

For the record, I agree with Inflatable Elvis - "prorogue" is the new black. Although I think he should be embarrassed to admit he loves Gossip Girl. Dude, really...

So, we've all been prorogued, as it were. And even though I'm risking the wraith of several regular readers, I think that was probably a good thing. Look, it's been one week since the shit hit the fan. It's been a dramatic week with lots of big, stupid talk. Words like "traitors" and "coup" have been tossed around. Our government even managed to wake up the slowly dying sovereignty movement with some of it's inflammatory rhetoric.

And the Liberals managed to show that they have problems grasping how to use basic camera equipment and a watch. Not to mention the idea of toppling the sitting government this month has been dead less than 12 hours and there's already signs the coalition is fracturing. So it makes me wonder what would have happened if they actually had succeeded next Monday of bumping off the government. Would they have lasted until Christmas?

So yes, a time-out and sending every one off to their corners, not a bad idea at all. It's asking a bit much to hope that everyone grows the fuck up in the next few weeks, but dare to dream.

In the meantime, here's a suggestion for each of the major political parties. Considering it a Christmas gift for the long-suffering citizens of Canada or an early New Year's resolution to the country.

Conservatives - While Steven Harper is busy being surly and complaining about having to go and do a brand new spiffy budget to try and save his political hide and make those whinny bastards (ie. the Canadian public) happy, allow me to make a suggestion to his caucus. Go to your sheds and find whatever sharp, pointy object you have lying around. You know, scissors, a knife, an axe, perhaps even a chainsaw if you're really hard up. And then go forth and stab your prime minister in the back.

If you think the racket of the last week was dramatic, just imagine what happens when 140 or so people decide to oust their leader. And lest you think there's no precedent for this sort of thing, well, I can think of one, albeit over in England. Remember, Margaret Thatcher did not sail gracefully into that Good Night. Her caucus decided she was now a liability and that they could not save themselves with her as the leader. So they bumped her off, politically speaking. And in the short term, it worked. John Major won the next election.

At some point the Conservatives are going to realize the same thing with Harper. And they've never had a better excuse to do it than right now. Oust him, put in an interim leader and set up a leadership convention for later in 2009. Canadians will give you an award.

Liberals - After you go out to Future Shop and buy a half decent high-def camcorder (this one is on sale. Even if they're broke and in debt, I'm sure they can find the money for it) they need to speed up the process of selecting a leader. Realistically, even being back in session on January 26, the Conservatives can stall a confidence motion another week or so. So, from right now, you have two months to select a new leader.

It's not ideal, trying to do this over the Christmas season. But as the Globe and Mail wrote in their editorial today, if you can run a national election in five weeks, you can select a new leader in two months.

(The Globe has actually been running some nice commentary on the whole fiasco the last week. It's made for interesting reading)

Get to it, because as long as Dion is your fallback plan to take over as prime minister, it's simply not going to work for a chunk of the country. Time to step-up to the plate.

NDP - Pause a moment to wipe the drool from your face and try not to look so eager for the chance to weld a bit of power federally for the first time in your existence. Oh, and someone punch Jack Layton in the face a couple of times so he stops looking so smug. It's annoying.

BQ - Resist the urge to laugh at the foolishness of all this. The rest of Canada knows this is idiotic, but just cut us some slack, all right?

Green - If someone could equip Elizabeth May with one of those sub-dermal electric generators so that she gets a shock every time someone clicks a remote, that would be great. I'm sure she's a nice woman who cares about the environment, but she has a dubious sense of timing and political common sense.

Because maybe, just maybe, in the middle of a constitutional and economic crisis is not the time to say you support Dion and the Liberals and that you might get appointed to the Senate. Dear God...

Knowing when to shut up is also an important skill in politics. You might want to work on that one over the holidays.

So yeah, if that's all done by the time the crazy people sit down to yell at each other in the House of Commons again, then that would be good.

Last Five
1. House of wolves - My Chemical Romance
2. Have a little faith in me - John Hiatt
3. Baker baker - Tori Amos
4. Past the mission - Tori Amos
5. Hallelujah - Allison Crowe*


Mike said...


Megan said...

Oh, I'll prorogue you. I'll prorogue you so hard you won't know what your democratic rights are. And you'll forget ALL about funding for opposition parties. Oh, yeah. That's the way you like it. Coalition agreements are your sort of thing, aren't they? I knew they were.

jason said...

Why do you do this Craig? I have a paper to write, it’s the first day of my vacation come on stop dragging me in. lol I’m going to start thinking you enjoy my rantings.Write about curling so I can go about my day.

Not so much my wraith as I feel the need to take a blowtorch to the rust laden faulty arguments you have tossed out.

Yes, time for Dion to go. We agree there. Everyone grows the fuck up? I’m sorry there is only one petulant 14 year old on the hill who thinks he’s the smartest man in the country, that’s the guy in the sweater vest.

Conservatives – John Major, you are using him as a successful example of a parliamentary coup? My god Craig, I mean honestly, there is so much wrong with that example alone. Two, I think you don’t understand the nature of these conservatives. While some are no doubt mad at Stephen for screwing the pooch with his move, they don’t disagree with the content of his move. Again, pay equity, civil servants, government, unions, red meat for the base. Most you’ll get from his base would be “ too soon Steven” and “hey what about fighting the homosexuals?” The base is not unhappy with Harper in the same way that Thatcher was, not by a long shot. They are happy to be dominated by this tyrant, it’s part of their conservative nature.

Reigncide is not a conservative trait it’s a Liberal trait.

Liberals – Okay you are right here, except for your praise of the Mope and Pail. The paper has written consistent crap on this matter. “Harper had room to grow, he hasn’t, he must go, he must stay.” This paper of Bay street and the corporation, can’t think outside the box to save it’s life. They’ve tied their lines to Harper. Oh no need to cite the CTV and Globe separately, both are owned by the same wonderful man, who loves Harper’s undying support for the state of Israel. That part is a series of blogs in itself.

NDP –I’m not generally a NDP supporter but I don’t think they were childish or drooly at all. They advocated WAIT FOR IT, a stimulus package. Economics 101, this is a time for governments to spend money, as the public will not. Governments can’t turn off the tap, they have to inject money into the economy. You have the Yanks putting up to 1.5 Trillion dollars into their economy and you have Flaherty and Harper fudging numbers and hiding under rhetoric.

If you are looking for a better paper and some information on economic theory, got to New York Times and read some Paul Krugman. Little at times but sound economic theory. For bonus work, read the Guardian, look at some their columnists as well. Then come back and take a look at what the NDP advocated and see how out to lunch they were.

BQ – Um again, un no. The rest of Canada, particularly the West, and our wonderful rural residents show themselves to be simple minded and biased fools who only prove the need for electoral boundaries to be changed so that people in the cities have more of a say then they do. If anything I can understand having the Bloc representing Quebec, it’ll be a shame about the PQ winning or making the Quebec government a minority again.

Green – eh you did okay on this one, but really was there a need?

Again, I think the GG made the wrong choice and I think Harper will come back with a budget that will no doubt be more of the same in regards to ideology trumping economics. He’ll never be a Keynesian economist. He’ll cut, cut, cut, and spend nothing. We’ll be back at the same place at the end of January. Hopefully the Liberals need to get a new leader and remember this is a “Chicago fight”

Okay tomorrow, write about curling or dog pictures, come on help me out.


Anonymous said...

Personally I think suspending Parliament is absolutely the wrong decision for the Governor General to make. Not out of any support for any side in this mess but for what it does to any future government wanting to avoid a vote of non-confidence.

All the parties should be sent to a corner though. It's just a prime example of how all the parties will say anything to keep or gain power, to hell with the better good of the country. We need a better system.

towniebastard said...

Megan, you're a disturbing woman, but I suspect you take that as a compliment at this point.

Jason, yes, I am trying to ruin your life.

Do I think the Conservatives will oust Harper? No. Do I think they should? Yes. So why not do it sooner rather than later.

But I appreciate logic isn't big with these guys.

And Major did the short term. The Conservatives were going to lose that election with Thatcher. They got rid of her, put in Major and they won. So, for them at that time, good politics. Probably hurt them more in the long run, but as you may have noticed this week, most politicians have a hard time thinking in the long term.

The Liberals need to pick a new leader now and show some leadership. Instead both Rae and Ignatieff look like they're going to take opposite sides on the coalition and start campaigning on it. And neither wants to move the date up from May. There's the boldness I want in a leader.

And I will kick the Greens because if you want to be taken seriously as a political party, then act seriously. And Elizabeth May was an absolute joke last week.

As for the GG she made the choice that constitutionally she could make. There was no consensus on which way she should go.

Now if you want to argue about whether or not the GG should continue to exist, that's a point worth looking at.