Thursday, April 20, 2006

Unnecessary toys

You understand that as a guy, and a geek, toys are always going to be tempting to me. Now, toys can take on many different meanings when you're a guy. A toy could be a new car. Or it could be a computer. Or even a girl, if you're that kind of guy. Cathy considers my iPod a toy.

But sometimes, I just literally mean a toy. Like the one pictured below.

You understand, I don't need this at all. I'm smart enough, and logical enough, to look at something like this and go "Well, clearly this is something of no practical use whatsoever. I mean, if the damn thing actually worked it might useful. I could carry it with me and should I ever get attacked by a snow creature on Hoth, errr, a polar bear outside of Iqaluit, well then clearly I have something I can use to defend myself with. Plus, it more elegent than a blaster....ummm, a rifle."

But it doesn't really work. It's a toy. A very, very cool toy. But really, how much use am I going to get out of it?

Very little. So it makes absolutely no sense to get one.

Having said that, I hope you're all reading between the lines and realizing how desperately I want one. The one that Darth Maul used, not the other lightsabres. Because there were only two good things about The Phantom Menace. One was the Pod Race (in a galaxy far, far away, there is NASCAR. It's kind of depressing when you think about it) and the lightsabre battle with Darth Maul.


There's something depressing about being a geek when you're grown up. You finally have the money to buy the cool stuff you would have wanted when you were a kid, but then you're kinda too grown to really be able to rationalizing spending $200 U.S. on a toy lightsabre.


You can find the rest of the lightsabres here.

Currently Playing
Make A Little Noise - Joel Plaskett Emergency


dups said...

A friend of mine at work (duh, look at where I work) has one ... not the Darth Maul one... but it is very cool and it makes sounds when you swing and strike... aaah geekdom

vickyth said...

S'okay Craig, John wants one too. What's even more terrifying is that the last few things like that that he has really wanted have turned up under the tree at Christmas.....

He also wants you to know that he can give you detailed explanations of exactly why certain SW weapons are double-bladed verses single.

Cathy must be a wonderful, tolerant person....

Jason said...

Yes a lightsaber would go well with my collection so I understand your desire. Again price will always put me off. But when I was in Labrador that's when my toy collection increased. I'm willing to spend a lot on my toys(Figures, Ipod, next a plam pilot) but there is a limit. Of course my Marvel Legends Sentinal just started laughing at me.

towniebastard said...

I bet your Marvel Legends Galactus is chuckling somewhere as well...;)

For the non-geeks: Marvel came out with a fairly ingenuis way to get people to buy a whole line of action figures, even the lame ones (like Professor X who sits in a wheelchair wearing a suit and scowling).

And that is each action figure came with a piece of another, much larger one. So you had to buy all eight (I think), at about $20 a pop, to get all the pieces to put together the other figure.

First series was a Sentinel (giant robot). Second series was Galactus, a giant alien.

I know this because even I, who normally forgoes action figures, thought they were pretty damn cool. But I couldn't justify spending close to $200 on all of it.

Obviously, Jason could...;)

Jason said...

I don't think it was 200 more like 150, but of course Craig now the entire line is like that, 8 figures= 1 giant figure.

Modak, Craig, how can one resist a Giant Head in a floating chair!

Anonymous said...

GAH! I want this!

But I'm thinking you'd really want your partner to have one as well. So you'll need to order two... One red and one blue. (This is clearly more practical, and will give you additional hours of wacky fun.)

I can just picture you and Cathy having lightsaber skirmishes around the apartment. Arguing over the remote? Break out the Jedi negotiation tool!

Um, Cathy's just gonna love me encouraging this, isn't she?

Mireille Sampson said...

Holy shit i know a lot of geeks! Of course, Himself is amazed by the amount of time I can spend in a...wait for it...paper store. I'm also aware of my little problem with high-quality house porn. It's all geekdom of one variety or another, isn't it?

towniebastard said...

Jason, I can resist MODAK pretty easily. It's a very silly looking villain, even by Marvel standards.

And Nancy, this was just one more incident in how scary my wife can be. I mentioned it to her, primarily just for the reaction. This is what she said:

Cathy: Well, if you really want it, go ahead.
Craig: Are you serious?
Cathy: Sure. I mean, I think it's a bit silly and a waste of money. Just think of how many graphic novels you could buy in San Francisco with that much money, but if you want to, go ahead.

I mean, is that good or what? She's such a teacher sometimes...

Mireille Sampson said...

Ooohh, she *is* good. That's probably from some child psych class she did for her ed. degree.

Earl said...

I'd argue the Trade Federation hardware was pretty cool - especially those droidekas.