Oh yes, my friends, nothing but losers littering the landscape after last night's election. Losers as far as the eye can see. Let's take a closer look at our List of Losers, shall we?
The Conservatives - Yes, they have an increased majority at 143 seats. However, they managed to fall 12 short of the promised land. If you can't get a majority with a divided left and with the weakest political leader the Liberals have had in a generation then you simply have to face facts....you're never going to have a majority. At least not with Harper. Simply not enough people like or trust him.
It'll be curious to see what happens with the Conservatives in the next few months. Harper has ruled that caucus with an iron fist. If cabinet ministers start talking without permission from the Prime Minister's Office and other criticism starts leaking out from "anonymous" sources, then he's in trouble.
It was Harper's arrogance in dealing with the media, Quebec and, God help me, Newfoundland, that cost him his majority. I'll be curious to see if that lesson sinks in at all.
The Liberals - A big, whopping pack of losers. They lost a couple of dozen seats and the casualities would have been higher if so many people hadn't voted for the Liberals because they hated Harper that much. Does Dion quit before he's pushed? He's not an idiot, so I suspect he's going to quit sometimes sooner, rather than later and the May leadership review could end up becoming a leadership election.
The Bloc - Perhaps the only true winner for the evening. They fended off a possible apocolypse early in the campaign and managed to land about two-thirds of the seats in Quebec. I dream of the day when this party will be wiped from the face of the planet. In typically ironic Canadian move, they emerged from the chaos as strong as ever.
NDP - Yes, they picked up seats, but Jack Layton was making lots of big talk about winning or at least forming the official opposition. They spent lots of money. They finished fourth. Furthermore, you have to wonder how solid any of these gains are. The NDP does well when the Liberals are in chaos, which they are right now. But you've got to figure the Liberals will get their act together at some point, right? Then what happens to the NDP?
Greens - A dynamic and interesting leader, a seat in the House of Commons, a presence at the leadership debate, a larger national presence than they've ever had before - zero seats. I could be wrong, but I think we've just seen the high water mark for Green Party in Canada.
Oh, and because I can't resist, congratulations to the people of Newfoundland and Labrador, who shut out the Conservatives, thereby assuring no representation at the cabinet level. That likely means Peter McKay is the respresentative for the province. Or perhaps someone appointed to the Senate to represent us.
Smooth move. There were no shortage of people saying that given what Loyola Hearn did during the last government, that we really didn't need federal representation in the government. These people are either:
a. Too stupid to know better.
c. Lying like a cheap rug to you.
Plus, Williams is now saying he's willing to bury the hatchet. WTF? Seriously. You've wrecked all this chaos and damage and now you're willing to let bygones be bygones? So what exactly was the point of the whole ABC racket if you're willing to let it die for no apparent reason. If that kind of weirdness is Newfoundland and Labrador politics in a nutshell....
Oh yes, a big ol' night of losers all the way around.
1. What became of the likely lads - The Libertines
2. Take your partner by the hand - Robbie Robertson
3. The chamber - The Last Shadow Puppets
4. What's it gonna be - Neil Diamond*
5. Cheap champagne - Sloan