Sunday, December 18, 2005

The Return of Lankhof, plus some cunning smokers

1. Lankhof manages to squeeze a second column out of his really rather bad first one by doing something on the swarming reaction of Newfoundlanders to his first one.

His reaction: He's not going to apologize and Gosh, I thought Newfies have a sense of humour.

You know, instead of swinging at the sinker pitch every time one of these idiots offers it up and then freaking out about the terrible things they say about us, why don't we call it like it is - especially when they (Lankhof is hardly the first, obviously) site the old "But we thought Newfies had a sense of humour."

And the response is this: We do have a sense of humour. We have given Canada Greg Malone, Tommy Sexton, Andy Jones, Mary Walsh, Cathy Jones, Rick Mercer, Shaun Majumder, Mark Critch and countless others who are drop dead funny, but choose not to get into acting.

We are, in fact, so funny that we have now appointed ourselves the Funny Police. And anytime we read crap that is not only not funny, but also badly written we are going to crackdown on you. We will mock you not for the content, but that you are Not Funny. And a Bad Writer. Because no one can make fun of Newfoundlanders better than ourselves and we will not tolerate second rate hacks trying to do it, and then when we get upset, we're accused of not having a sense of humour.

Mr. Lankhof, your writing and humour are so bad that it wouldn't make it to opening night of the annual Revue show. And everything makes it to opening night of Revue, because they want to see what sticks.

And yours doesn't stick, sir. It just sucks. Which is why you write for the Toronto Sun.

(Ok, cheap shot. But hey, look at who I'm writing about.)

2. I like this story from Friday's Globe because I wonder how many bar owners in St. John's immediately began checking out the price for an old school bus.

I am curious about the wording of the smoking legislation in Newfoundland, but I'm too lazy to look. Would this work in Newfoundland, I wonder? Not that I'm hoping it does. I'm still very much for the ban, but I have to at least be impressed by the cunning and creativity in finding a way around it.

Last 5 on iPod
1. Out of my hands - The Donnas (Gold Medal)
2. Life for rent - Dido (Life For Rent)
3. Least I can do - Ron Sexsmith (Cobblestone Runway)
4. Little earthquakes - Tori Amos (Little Earthquakes)
5. Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel (Secret World: Live)


Helmut said...

Sometimes I wonder if arseholes like Lankof write crap like that for the reaction. And we give it to them.

Better to ignore the little twit from the Toronto Sun.

líam said...

"And yours doesn't stick, sir. It just sucks. Which is why you write for the Toronto Sun."

My god! Thank you! I've been thinking this ever since the "article" first came out. Who reads the Toronto Sun anyway?

towniebastard said...

I especially enjoyed the part in the second article where he is condescending towards the CBC. Lord knows I have my problems with the CBC, but they are so far over the Sun in terms of quality of writing, let alone journalism, that it's hysterical.

As for who reads the Sun, well, I poked fun of that earlier. I imagine it's more than who I speculated, but I would be curious if there was a marketing breakdown based on socio-economic and political leanings.

dups said...

They've been doing the school bus thing here in Edmonton to great success. Frankly, I don't care. If it takes the smokers out of the bar, out of the front of the bar and allows them to pollute their lungs to high heaven, then please by all means.

towniebastard said...

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea, actually. One of the nuisances of the Newfoundland smoking ban was going through the fog of tobacco smoke downtown as all the smokers stood outside bars. So a bus isn't a bad idea.

Of course, not like there is any place to park a car downtown, let alone a bus. So that idea is pretty much out the window.