Personally, I blame Chapters.
I've been blaming Chapters for stuff for awhile. When one of my favourite bookstores in St. John's closed (the late, lamented Braeyn (sp?) Books). I blamed Chapters. I have occasionally blamed Chapters for being broke when looking at my Visa bill (after the closing of the favourite bookstore, of course).
And I blame them now because my wife's Christmas and birthday gifts are late. But no, I didn't order from them.
I get ahead of myself here, let me explain.
Chapters has a ridiculous, carefree, money-be-damned sort of shipping policy. I mean, how many places give 45 per cent discounts on stuff? And then there's their shipping policy. If you spend more than $39, free shipping. No matter how heavy the book - free shipping. Cathy got me The Complete Far Side for Valentine's Day this year. She ordered it from Rankin Inlet and had it sent to me in St. John's. It weighs about 20 pounds. Free shipping.
At one time I ordered six books and they all arrived expedited post in six different boxes. I have no idea why. It seems kind of silly, really. Why not hold back the books and send them all at once? Why not say free shipping over $39, but if the books are over 20 pounds, there might be a slight fee.
But hey, who am I to complain? Like any good person living in the North, you quickly find the suckers when it comes to shipping and ruthlessly exploit them. One of my co-workers told me she's convinced a friend of hers bankrupt a pet supply store down South when they offered free shipping on dog food.
It's also why when going into the Post Office these days it seems like every third box is from Chapters, Amazon or Future Shop.
My mistake was thinking that most businesses were this kind of crazy with getting things to you promptly. I order the Special Edition of Sin City from Chapters (been wanting that bad boy for awhile). It shipped last Wednesday. It arrived today. Crazy. But hey, it keeps me buying things.
Alas, not everyone does this. I thought they did. I'm very wrong. And I'm about three days away from possibly being very dead.
Because that's how many days the Post Office is left open. That's how many days the last three packages I ordered for Cathy have to arrive.
I ordered these things in November. We've had a bunch of stuff that we ordered after I ordered her gifts arrive from Chapters and Future Shop. I am not happy. The thought of being dead does not make me happy. It's also a toss up as to whether or not she will kill me or if her mom will make a special trip north to do the job.
The far worse option is not death, by the way. It's her having a brave face and making jokes, but being hurt.
And yes, I can buy other things in town. And I have. But, you know, she wanted these things. I ordered them nearly a month ago. C'mon....
I may have to resort to a call to Santa Claus to see if he can figure out what the heck happened to my packages. Because really, Christmas miracles are starting to look really, really good right about now.
Last 5 on iPod
1. Pretty boy heaven - Drive (Blink)
2. North American for life - Matthew Good (White Light Rock and Roll Review)
3. I'm only sleeping - The Beatles (Revolver)
4. Man by the door - The Novaks (The Novaks)
5. I don't want to grow up - Tom Waits (Beautiful Malodies)