Recent Acquisitions

We haven't been down to the museum in town for a couple of months, I think. There's always lots of nice things there, but it can be expensive walking in there. There's a tendency to walk in with a full wallet and then walk out with it considerably lighter. Bringing your check book is a tremendously bad idea. Trust me.

There are several places in town where you can buy really nice carvings, but the museum consistently offers nice little pieces at quite reasonable prices. Let's put it this way, anytime someone comes in town and expresses and urge to buy a carving, they're steered straight to the museum.

We didn't go there looking for a carving yesterday...we were there for the Pangnirtung Print Collection. Cape Dorset gets all the attention when it comes to prints in Nunavut, but Pangnirtung has a history with prints (and tapestries) and sometimes you can find a nice print at a price that's not as high as what the Dorset ones have reached in recent years.

(I'm not saying the Dorset prints aren't worth the price, by the way. I'm all for artists getting what they can for their work. But I've noticed the spike in prices over the last seven years as their national popularity has spiked.)

We didn't find one we liked, alas. However, as this is why the museum is dangerous, we were poking around and seeing what else was there and fell in love with a carving. Several hundred dollars later, this guy is now in our carvings display.

The artist is Quraq Nugushuituq from Cape Dorset. It's also carved out of quartz, which is a little different. We have a couple of polar bear carvings, but this is the first one that's actually the same colour as the bear.

And because we're showing off a bit, a couple of other acquisitions I've just forgotten to put up on the blog. First, there's the one of a woman in an amunti we bought back in November.

The stone is serpintine and the face is made from caribou antler. The artist is Mosesie Ipeelee from here in town.

And finally, a couple of ookpiks (owls). The one on the left is more of a traditional one. The one on the right, well, someone got the idea of doing a set of ookpiks and dubbing them Angry Ookpiks, and dyed them the same colour as the Angry Birds. They were $30 each, so while it was tempting to go and buy the set, Cathy just settled on the blue one. I suspect, judging by how fast they disappeared (they were advertised on one of the Iqaluit Buy/Swap sites on Facebook) the artist is going to do quite well for herself over the next couple of months.

That's the thing about Iqaluit. It's dead easy for us to resist hitting the bars or eating out. But the sheer volume of art that's routinely dangled in front of you...that's the hard thing to pass up...

Last Five
1. Peace - Weezer
2. Mother - Emmanuel Jai
3. Champagne for my friends - Fall Out Boy
4. Yankee bayonet - The Decemberists*
5. Smoke detector - Rilo Kiley

Plate madness

Friends of mine on Facebook have already seen this, so my apologies to them. But for the rest of you, this might be of interest. It is also a cautionary tale.

A friend of mine posted a link to an eBay auction earlier this week (he's not the one running it) for a used Nunavut licence plate. Now, if you had asked me how much something like that would go for, I would have said $10...maybe. I would have been off by a considerable amount.

There's less than 30 minutes left as I write this, but allow me to say that $197 for a licence plate is insane (Note: It went for $213. Unreal). I would also like to point out that the plate is almost exactly the same as the plate for the NorthWest Territories. For that matter, $20 in shipping for the licence plate is also batshit crazy, but anyway...

I made the joke after I read that auction - when it was at $110, by the way - that I had a new retirement plan. It involved me taking the day off, going to my tool box for a screwdriver, and then taking a casual stroll around town. You know, for my health and all...

If that plate goes for $200, then aside from P.T. Barnum really being a genius philosopher, I am tempted to go out this evening with a screwdriver. I figure 300 licence plates would be enough to take care of my sealift this summer.

To my knowledge, they're still making them for another couple of months, so they're not really that rare or scarce. But I have to admit, if someone offered me $200 for the plate off the back of our car, I wouldn't sell it. So perhaps there is some truth to the value of the plate. I also have no idea what the licence plate collectors market is like. Maybe it is in demand, but I find $200 a touch insane.

Although I will say this...if this actually becomes a trend, and those plates start getting a couple of hundred dollars, my plate is going to disappear (i.e. it's going to be hung on my wall) and I'll go and get one of the new ones. I'll suffer the ugly one on the car; but having someone steal it (because word is going to get out around town about this) and sell it on eBay would be really annoying...

Last Five
1. Lithium - Nirvana*
2. The Jessica numbers - The New Pornographers
3. Anna...go to him - The Beatles
4. Follow the arrows - Sean Panting
5. Ireland - Tori Amos

This week's Doyle

See, it is entirely possible to do a solid, entertaining hour of Doyle without going completely off the rails. I think the difference is that this wasn't a silly episode. It had amusing moments and a few laughs, but the writers didn't chase them so desperately that the ran the plot clear off the rails, which they tend to do.

See, playing it straight can be your friend as well.

As is typical of Doyle, especially this season, we have several plots going on. The main plot involves Des father getting paroled from jail, and then promptly getting kidnapped. So the Doyles have to spring into action and figure out what's going on, if he's actually been kidnapped, and try to prevent Des from acting more of a spaz as always.

In plot #2, A retired RNC officer with a connection to Mal's past has been found murdered. Mal is acting vague in a way that fools absolutely no one (I assume they only thing he's worse at, other than being a father, is playing poker). Lesley knows he's hiding something, which is making her...crankier than normal.

Plot #3, we have Kathleen dealing with a sinister man from her past, along with a blue book and some money she possibly stole. Unsurprisingly, this is the least interesting of the plots. Fortunately it's also the one that gets the least amount of screen time.

The Des father plot actually holds up pretty ok. I like that they show his father his basically just an older version of Des - a geeky guy, who is a bit of a savant when it comes to electronics, a clutz and easily distracted. The difference is that he didn't have the Doyles to rescue him, like they did with Des. And lots of nice moments with each of the cast reacting to Des and his situation. Rose and Mal saying he's a good guy, Jake's mildly stunned reaction in realizing how much Des worships him and a lovely little scene with Rose and Tinny, where Rose essentially smacks down all of Tinny's bluster about how she feels about him.

Tinny, for all my bitching and moaning, can be an interesting character if they can ever figure out what to do with her. This episode she mostly worked.

Plus, there were few plot holes. Yes, it was mind blowingly stupid for the crook to take Des back to the spot where he held his dad, but I'll forgive that.

And, you know, for all the times that Jake gets hit in either the balls or the head, it's pretty well assured that he's sterile and probably should be showing the post-concussion symptoms you would see in a veteran NHL enforcer. But I digress...

The Mal subplot has some intrigue, just because it's nice to go back into his past a bit before he became a PI. The show is nearly three years old now. You can reach back into some of their pasts for story ideas. Rose's...checkered...history is a nice example. I hope they play it a bit straight, however. Lesley knows he's full of shit, so it would be nice to see if the rest of the Doyles quickly figure that out as well and Rose in particular, should be chewing his ass out. So a decent set-up for a story to come.

As for #3, Kathleen's whole point in the show seems to be more annoying than Tinny, thereby making her more sympathetic. If ever there was a time for a tragic death in the family, I'm leaning that way with the character. I imagine it's being all set-up for the season finale.

So yes, a good show. Solid, nice juggling of multiple plots, no boneheaded silliness...I could stand to see more of this.

Last Five
1. Scott Pilgrim - Plumtree
2. This is our perfect crime - The Von Bondies
3. Cold hands - Brendan Benson
4. Stop the clocks - Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
5. Cigarette - Ben Folds Five

How much is that doggie in the window...

It's a beautiful sunny Sunday in Iqaluit, and Spring is right around the corner. So this is the time of the year where Iqaluit really starts to glow. All that white snow, coupled with plenty of daylight...it's a nice mix.

Pity it's -37C with windchill today. Just took Boo for a walk. We both decided after five minutes we were done with being outside. It's beautiful outside, it's just much warmer to look at it through a window.

Case in point...

It's also much warmer in the sunspot while lying on a couch than lying on the snow outside.

The downside to being inside is that when certain people are in the mood to pick and poke and comb out some mats there's no where to run.

Although most of our attention is out the front window and looking out the bay, occasionally you do see cool things looking out our back window. Birds other than ravens offer me home that perhaps winter might ease up (let's not get crazy and talk about spring yet) at some point in the next couple of weeks.

This is actually from a week or so ago. I was just surprised to see a hare in town. I'm sure it happens, but it's the first time I've seen one. Most non-avian wildlife give Iqaluit a reasonably wide berth, what with their being so many ways to die and all...

Last Five
1. Hot soft light - The Hold Steady
2. We will rock you - Queen
3. Mary Jane's last dance (live) - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
4. Monster love - Goldfrapp
5. House of smoke and mirrors - Matthew Good*

Doyle vs. Castle

One of the criticisms of my reviews of Doyle has been "you're taking it too seriously. It's a fluffy, fun show. Relax and just watch it and don't be so critical."

Which I'm not entirely sure how you're supposed to do that and be able to review it, but whatever. But here's the thing...I do watch other mindless TV shows. The show that I tend to compare Doyle to is Castle.

Now I know some people go that's unfair because Castle is a major US network show with a massive budget. However, I think it works for the sake of my argument. Castle's central idea is certainly more preposterous. What's sillier - a private detective solving crime in St. John's or a mystery writer teaming up with a hot detective and together they solve murder cases...and have been doing so for four years and managed to not sleep together despite insane chemistry.

Castle wins the silly sweepstakes on that one.

In terms of the look of the show, Doyle win that too. Castle is the generic New York via Hollywood backlot look that's so common on US network shows. At least Doyle looks pretty and has some character.

Castle, obviously has a better pool of actors to draw on, but Doyle still gets some entertaining guest stars. It was nice seeing Andy Jones as grumpy judge last night. I hope they bring him back from time to time. Any occasion to see Andy Jones on TV is a good one.

But the big difference is in the quality of writing, which shouldn't be a surprise considering I've harped on it so much. But let's compare an episode of Castle from earlier the season with the Doyle one last night. They have similar premises in that one of the lead characters is trapped and unable to run around and solve the mystery, meaning other people have to do it. In Castle's case, he's trapped in a bank in the middle of a robbery, meaning Beckett has to try and solve the mystery and deal with the robbers. In Doyle's case, he's stuck on jury duty trying a case where he's convinced the defendant is innocent, but being sequestered it's a little hard to prove things.

Not precisely the same, but close. But the thing with Castle is that it clicks along so effortlessly. There's some real nice tension, some good humour and a decent mystery. Aspects of it are deeply silly, but even after it's over and you start to nitpick a bit, it still holds together fairly well.

Doyle just isn't the same. I mean, I enjoy the show fine, I guess. I knew the premise is silly from the get go (there's no human way Doyle gets on a jury, but whatever), however I'm biting. Try to solve the mystery while stuck in a jury room. Except they never play fair with the premise. Of course he gets to sneak out, wander around, get in a fight and walk down the street in broad daylight with an escaped criminal (having a character point it out as silly does not absolve you, as a writer, of it being a silly thing to do). Of course he gets caught and thrown off the jury, allowing him time to run around and do the big reveal in court.

Castle effortlessly sucks you into the silliness and you go along for the ride. Doyle feels too often like it's trying to punch you in the face with the silliness. And the hangover, when you realize how stupid stuff was after it ends, is fairly brutal. I'm not sure Advil quite covers it.

Doyle is perfectly average mindless fluff, but Castle is top notch mindless fluff. The difference isn't in the budget, the scenery or even the acting. It's the writing. Until Doyle acknowledges that and works to address it, I think it's going to be stuck that way for me, no matter how much I try to turn off my brain.

Last Five
1. Trojan horse - Bloc Party
2. Sex on fire - Kings of Leon
3. Wonderful - Andy Stochansky
4. I'll wait - Van Halen
5. People got a lotta nerve - Neko Case*

New strategy

So there's a story today announcing that Ke$ha (at about 14 minutes of her 15 of fame) has come out against the seal hunt. If I may, to save you time and brain cells, allow me to sum up the comments section to that story, and any other story involving the seal hunt as we enter March Madness.

"You suck!"
"No, you suck!"

Ta da! I have saved you literally hours of your life. You're welcome.

Look, I grew up in Newfoundland and I live in Nunavut. I have a decent education at this time in hopeless battles. Pick a maritime mammal - seal, polar bear, whale - I live, or lived, in places where people have wanted to kill them for various reasons they consider to be quite reasonable in opposition to nearly everyone else in the western world. That's the sad truth of the matter. It terms of cultural battles, these hunts are hanging on by the skin of their teeth. It's the cute seal with big eyes being slaughter, it's the beautiful polar bear, in danger from climate change, being killed by sports hunters. Or the smart, majestic whale being killed for no good reason.

This is where western culture sits at this point. This has been the fight for public perception over the last 40 years. In terms of public perception, pro-hunt people have lost. Of course they have their supporters. But for most people out there, for whom this isn't a life and death issue, the battle has been played out and won over the years. Those supporting these hunts are not on the winning side.

I'm not even getting into which side is right at this point. I'm just saying which side has lost. Pro-hunt people are backed in a deep, dark corner at this point. Maybe that's not right, and maybe that's not fair, but it is reality.

I had a discussion on Twitter last month with a very smart woman in town who argued that all it will take is really good organization and a really good communications strategy and it's entirely possible to turn around public opinion.

I agree with her on that part, although we're talking the "Hamlet" of communications strategies, all right. I've written a few of the buggers in my day. I can't wait to read the one that completely turns around decades of public perception when it comes to seals, or polar bears or whales. They're going to write books about that one. There will be courses at PR schools dedicated to the awe and wonder of that strategy.

But the one thing we disagreed on was money. She didn't think much would be needed. I argue that metric fuckloads of money is going to be required. Once, in a previous life, I joked that I could take an entire government department's budget, give to a PR company that made tobacco companies look good and you would still lose. Anti-hunt advocates are well funded, smart and they've been doing this for so many years it's like breathing for them. And, oh yes, many of them are zealots. Complain all you want about how they're wrong, or distorting the facts. It's a PR battle. The first casualty in these things is the truth.

So money. Lots of money. For advertising campaigns, social media campaigns, for contingencies I can't even think of right now. Lots and lots of it. Because it's not a one year burst of cash and you've won. Or five years. Or 10. Or 20. It's a willingness to spend as much as needed, for as long as needed. You have to shift a cultural perspective. It's going to take a long, long time. I also have no earthly idea where that money is coming from. That's the other problem with losing the culture wars. People will gladly give money to save polar bears's environment. Not so much with the fundraisers to go and kill them. Last time I checked, government's weren't exactly forking over the millions and millions needed. So yes, things are not going well.

If you need further proof, look at Ke$ha today. Of course she's an ignorant twit, but the fact that her opinion on the seal hunt actually made the news should give you an idea of how things are going. They're not going well. At all. So either figure out the strategy and where the money is coming from and starting fighting back or starting preparing for the terms of surrender. Because time is running out where pro-hunt people are going to have the option of making a choice.

Last Five
1. Cloudbursting - Kate Bush
2. The Curse - Josh Ritter*
3. This year's love - David Gray
4. The hitter - Bruce Springsteen
5. La cienega just smiled - Ryan Adams

Games, Doyle and licence plates

1. Apologies for the lax posting...but between work, getting caught up in some books and the gym, my evenings have been a bit busy. Plus I'm normally tired when I mean to sit down and start writing.

2. The reading in question was Suzanne Collins' "The Hunger Games". I bought the books for Cathy a couple of Christmases ago and just never got around to reading them myself. I figured with the movie coming out in a couple of weeks, now might be a good time to read them because the movie looks quite good.

Well, I'll say this much for Collins, she knows how to build a body count. I though JK Rowling had quite the serial killer personality, but not many characters manage to survive this series, it must be said. And I enjoy the occasional bleak ending, but Jesus...

I also understand that is mostly meant for teens, especially teen girls, so I'll forgive the whole "which boy will she choose" because I'm obvious not the target audience. But as a role model for young girls...I dunno. Yes, Katniss is strong and looks after her family, but she also spends large chunks of the books hysterical, drugged and manipulated. They're page-turners, but deeply odd. I'm curious if they make the last book into a movie if they'll keep the ending the same. It's pretty bleak for a Hollywood popcorn film.

3. The gym continues to go well. Still maintaining the schedule of five days a week, for at least an hour with a mix of the elliptical and different weight machines. The weight, alas, is not coming off as quickly as I would like, even with the changes in the diet and portion-size. Still, this a two year plan. No one said it would be easy.

4. I did actually sit down and watch Doyle on Wednesday night. Thought about doing a full review, but promptly stayed up to 12:30 finishing one of the Hunger Game books. I watched mainly because Gordon Pinsent was in it. Pinsent is one of the few actors who get an automatic look in whatever they do. I won't always like it, but it gets the benefit of the doubt.

So it was a fun enough episode. The flashback from multiple perspectives worked, although I'm glad they only did it for the first half of the show. If it had been for the entire show, it would have become a nuisance. But it was amusing for the first part of the show. Actually, the bit from Mal's perspective was the most amusing. More Pinsent would have been nice, but I'll just have to settle for watching this instead

There was also actual detective work done and Jake actually went and got a cop to make the big arrest at the end. Well, will wonders never cease. The ending was also certainly poignant, but we are quickly reaching the point where it's idiotic that they're not together.

In other subplots, the Walter/Kathleen romance has potential to be vastly amusing. God, anything with more Walter in it. Jake tells Walter he's his best friend, but we never see the character in the show. And the Des/Tinny relationship continues to drive deep into the waters of the idiotic.

5. The other news out of Nunavut was the announcement that we have new licence plates. Ever since Nunavut split from the Northwest Territories we've had the same polar bear plate - it's iconic and looks kind of awesome. However, because of various weirdness, we can no longe use that licence plate. So there was a competition to see what the new one looks like, which you can see here.

I confess I'm not thrilled with it and the reaction is mixed to say the least. My issue is that it looks like the kitch tourist art you can buy at Arctic Ventures that was inevitably created by someone from Alberta based on what they think the north looks like. I don't know how you can have a licence plate with a polar bear, an inuksuk and northern lights and not feel northern, but this plate manages the trick.

I always thought they should have just adapted something by Kenojuak Ashevak (with her permission, of course). You would have gotten something unique and distinctly northern.

Oh well. Let's just say I'm glad we have the licence plate we do on our car and that we're keeping it when we sell the car many years from now.

Last Five
1. Can't walk away - The Monday Nights
2. Tournament of hearts (live) - The Weakerthans*
3. Map of a city - Ian Foster
4. In traffic - Andrew LeDerew
5. Lake fever - The Tragically Hip

Big hearts

1. So yes, still around. I think it's safe to say I might have given up writing about the Doyle. I just haven't been enjoying this season and writing week in and week out about how frustrating the show is clearly means it's time for me to move on. Maybe I'll check back at the end of the season to see if things are getting any better for me.

Besides, the new schedule kind of occupies a lot of my time. I'm currently going to the gym five days a week. Tuesdays I curl and Fridays I take as a day of rest. So right now on Wednesday I'm getting home from the gym around 8:45. I could catch Doyle at 9, but a new show, "Nunavut Quest" comes on then on APTN. Watched the first episode this week. Really, a dogsled race across the top of Baffin Island beats Doyle hands down for my entertainment value. I highly recommend hunting it down and taking a look.

2. As has been obvious to those paying attention to the news, we had another crappy week up here. It feels like not that long ago I was writing about a devastating fire up here and this weekend we had another one, burning down a series of townhouse that left dozens homeless. Last year people were relatively lucky, or as lucky as you can be when losing almost everything...at least there was no loss of life last year.

We're not so lucky this time. Two people are missing and presumed dead. It's a small town and the rumour mill is going full tilt on what happened, but I won't repeat what I've heard happen. That's up to the RCMP to figure out.

You know, I still get a fair amount of email from people thinking about moving up here. Despite the FAQ, people still want to talk to someone and get a feel for what the place is like. I understand. I always emphasize it's a major commitment; be sure before you take the plunge. And the single question I get asked the most is "We've read all about the crime rate. Will we be safe moving there?"

It would be foolish for me to deny that Iqaluit has problems. It does and there is crime and much of it is so pointless and frustrating that it makes you want to scream sometimes. But I think you can also tell a lot about a community by how it comes together in the face of tragedy. If that's the case, then Iqaluit has one of the biggest hearts of any place I've ever been to. When the mayor has to go and tell people to please stop donating stuff because they have more than they will ever use mere days after the fire, I think that says something.

It's still not over, either. There's a fundraiser tomorrow at the Legion to help out. People have been donating to the Red Cross, or buying gift cards for NorthMart and Arctic Ventures so those left homeless can go and buy what they need. Companies have kicked in plane tickets, free cargo and cash to help out.

There's a good heart here. Maybe it doesn't get to shine as much as we might all wish it would, and that it wouldn't take tragedy for everyone to realize it. But never doubt that it's here.

Last Five
1. Please call me baby - Tom Waits*
2. Win win - Jenny Gear and the Whiskey Kittens
3. Middle of love - Ron Sexsmith
4. Girl - Beck
5. Wake up dead man - U2

Breaking patterns

So I've been in an odd head space the last couple of weeks. Honestly, the arse end of February can't come soon enough for me. I had a January-February about 20 years ago where my great-grandmother died, my girlfriend of three years dumped me, my dog died and I was failing courses at MUN left, right and centre. This month isn't at that epic level, but there have been moments where it's felt like it.

It is, of course, a mild case of depression. I thought I'd felt depressed before - there are times when most of my teen years felt like one big wave of it - but I think this is something quite different. I mean, it's nothing like this, which is almost biblical in scope. But I like to think beneath the cynical, snarky exterior beats the heart of a generally upbeat grumpy bastard. So this has been something a bit odd for me. Hell, I'm sure that my mere ability to properly articulate that something feels a bit off probably means it's not that severe. Cathy, not being a stupid woman, knows there is something wrong, but I'm really unable to articulate it, other than I just don't feel right. As I understand, this is not uncommon for people feeling depression.

It comes and goes, but I'm discovering the one thing that does seem to help is going to the gym.

Which is odd. Never been a big gym person. I'd said since the beginning of the year I was going to have to go back as my weight ballooned up to levels I've never reached before. Clearly steps were going to need to be taken. I went once before our emergency trip back to St. John's and it remained as unpleasant an experience as I recalled from previous attempts, but resigned myself that I was going to grit my teeth and deal with it.

Except last weekend, I was feeling awful and decided I just need to get out, do something just so I could feel...different. So I went to the gym and worked out (30 minutes on an elliptical on a high difficulty setting, 30 minutes on weight machines) and I just felt better...well, I did once the dizziness stopped. Best I'd felt in days. Went back the next day just to see if the process could be duplicated, although my muscles were informing me that this was a tremendously bad idea. Still, I'll take muscle pains over sitting in a scatter-brained funk.

It's funny, I didn't go Monday and by Tuesday afternoon I was clearly in a bad mood again. Went curling that evening, made sure I ran around the ice a bit, in a better mood after the game (it helps we played a fun team, and that we won for the first time in ages). So whatever endorphins are being released from running around, it seems to help the mood and allow me to think more clearly. If I can have that and lose about 50 pounds (to start with), I'd be all right with that.

I am, perhaps, too much of a senditary person. The north can really bring that out in you if you're not careful. If it's -50C outside, as it was earlier this week, going outside and doing anything seems like an act of madness. Going to work takes significant will power, let alone any kind of physical activity. But I've always been a person who is just as happy to twack away in front of a computer than going and doing something.

So that's got to change. Pretty sure I've said that before, but I think there's a little more at stake this time. It's one thing to put on weight, even though you know it's bad and that given your family history at some point in the future it's going to come back and bite you on the ass. It's something else all together if you're in a funk, not thinking straight and you know the one thing that has worked so far to change that is going to the gym for an hour.

So away we go...

Last Five
All from "The King is Dead" by The Decemberists

The guy in front

So, funny thing...I went to a press conference and I had this guy sitting in front of me.

Yeah, so that was unexpected. Went to the press conference, grabbed a chair and next think I know the prime minister of Canada is sitting in front of me. Gotta confess, the urge to noggie him just hit me and was almost overwhelming there for a few minutes. Thankfully it passed. I suspect that goes into the books as one of those "five seconds of amusement, several years of pain" ideas.

So yeah, there he was. Oh, and for the person who asked on Facebook, no, he didn't smell evil. The woman speaking is Nunavut's premier, who is a touch on the short side.

This is actually the first time I've been around this prime minister. I've meet/been around two previous ones - Martin and Chretien - but never Harper. It's interesting in that he really does not come across well in photos and video. In person he didn't come across as stiff and awkward. There was a warmth and charm there. It's very odd. Something clearly gets lost in the transition from real life to video.

The other amusing thing was after the press conference myself and the people I went to the press conference with were stranded because none of us had our cars today. So along walks the mayor, notices we're waiting for a taxi and offers a lift. So we all climb into her pick-up and get a ride. She was also apologizing for the dog fur as I was climbing over a piece of baleen from a whale that she had in the back seat. Gotta love the north...

Last Five
1. Missionary man - Eurythmics
2. The crooked line - Elvis Costello
3. Whose gonna ride your wild horses - U2
4. Prison grove - Warren Zevon
5. You won't succeed on Broadway (if you don't have any Jews) - Spamalot Cast Recording*

Eskimo Pop

On a scale of 1-10 how wrong (with 10 being deeply, catastrophically wrong) is it to order this t-shirt from Threadless to wear around town?

Last Five
1. Lines on palms - Josh Pyke* (seriously the album "Memories and Dust" is well worth buying)
2. Rock problems - The Hold Steady
3. The spell that you cast - Elvis Costello
4. Immersed (live) - Allison Crowe
5. Green onions (live) - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Funny women

This is a touch dated, but I recall thinking at the time that I wanted to write about how stupid it was, but couldn't figure out how to do it. Then inspiration struck...

The story in question was this particular idiot, Edie Brill. Eddie got himself in some trouble recently by saying that women aren't particularly funny. Which might be fine if he was another shmuck mouthing off online. The problem was he was (note the tense) the comedy booker for the David Letterman Show. His comments didn't go over well, as he is now the ex-booker.

I understand he's talking about professional comedians here, but there is the implied statement in there that women overall aren't very funny. It's not the first time I've heard this and it is, of course, insane. I wouldn't have married Cathy if she didn't have a sense of humour. And if I had to pick the three funniest people I know, two of them are women.

The one guy is Seamus, who is actually a semi-professional stand-up comedian. He's performed at Yuk Yuks, made it to standup finals in Newfoundland, carried a notebook to jot down ideas (probably still does) and worked to polish his set. He could actually be a very, very good stand-up comedian, but in order to do that you have to actually suffer years of rejection and torture before making it. I think he ultimately took a look at that and decided it wasn't the life for him. Which, you know, fair enough. For every Chris Rock, Louis CK and Patton Oswalt there are thousands of stand-ups who go nowhere, no matter how much sweat they put into it.

But he's a hell of a funny guy. He quoted me one of his routines, which bombed because the audience was totally wrong for his humour, and he had me crying I was laughing so hard.

As for the women, well, first we have Andrea...Andrea has been killing me for years. Whenever I go back to St. John's these days, time conspires against me and I don't have time to visit everyone. I always make time for Andrea, because she's brilliant. It's just dry, sarcastic humour, but it's awesome stuff.

We became friends during the mid-90s...I've never been much of a drinker, but I still liked going to bars for the social aspect. I loved going out to bars with Andrea because she would sit on her favourite stool at the Duke, men would buy her drinks and then she would just eviscerate them...I mean it was a Masters class in male ego destruction (if I'm honest, it probably was indirectly responsible for my miserable luck with trying to ask women out at that point in time because I just assumed they could all do what Andrea did). And they would keep coming back for more. Several times a night, some idiot would buy her a pint, she would take it, they would hit on her and then she would crush them with her wit. I would just sit next to her, keep my head down and try not to fall off to stool from laughing so hard.

It's always been that way. She's smart, quick and priceless. Last week was a pretty miserable week for me and a lot of my friends. It was genuinely hard to find some laughs. After a funeral service and an impromptu wake on Middle Cove Beach, several of us retired to the Ship for a drink. During the course of chatting, we had a conversation that went something like this:

Me: Are you working tonight?
Andrea: Yeah..
Me: So who's playing?
Andrea: Some fucking wanker DJ playing with his Macbook on a stack of milk crates...
Me: (head on the table laughing)
Andrea: And the only thing worse than the DJs are the crowd of assholes they attract. Is it really so hard to find clothes that fit? The guys all wear baggy shit and the girls are barely wearing anything. Christ...

On a bad day, where humour was scarce, God love her for finding a laugh...

I'm going to hold back the name of the other person, just because she works in the courts. But her stories from the courts crack me up. I can't even relate them because I'm reasonably sure I could get her in trouble. But whenever I need a laugh I can just ask her how court was and she can reliably relate something that seems too impossible to be believed.

A recent example.
Me: How's court today?
Her: The usual band of miscreants. The courthouse smells like chip fat and Belevedere tobacco.

or

Her: I am an evil bitch who takes joy in the suffering of others. It's a career strength.

or

Me: Dealing with any criminal retards today?

Her: Alleged criminal retards...

I seriously pity anyone who has to go up against her in court. Again, smart, quick, devastatingly cutting and absolutely hilarious. I swear to God, if I ever get back to writing again seriously, there is a TV show waiting about her court adventures that would be some bizarre mutant hybrid between Republic of Doyle, Night Court and Ally McBeal...

Could the two of them be stand-up comedians? Probably, but it would be a serious waste of their gifts.

Look, if you're saying you don't know any funny women, then you just must not know many women or have your head up your ass. Men should be frankly scared of how funny women are.

Lord knows I should be, but I'm normally too busy laughing to be too worried...

Last Five
1. Nothing more to say - Joel Plaskett Emergency
2. Firecracker (live) - Elton John and Ryan Adams
3. Amazing Grace (live) - Ani DiFranco
4. Long time comin' - Bruce Springsteen
5. The boy who could explode - Matthew Good*

In requiem: Glenn Banfield

I've been straining my brain trying to figure out exactly when I met Glenn Banfield...certainly it was at Bitters, the grad pub on MUN campus. It was either in 1996, before I went to South Korea, or later in 1997 when I came back. But the one thing that is for certain is that it was during a trivia night, and I wasn't in a good mood.

The mid-to-late 90s were not a great time for me, for a host of reasons. I was in a pretty negative head space and my normally sarcastic and bitter personality was amplified. But doing trivia night at the grad pub was a chance to get out and socialize. And one of the night's I went there, Glenn was tending bar.

I honestly don't know if Glenn was good for bar sales. He was sarcastic and quick witted and more than once there was a mocking of alcohol selection, if not with words, then with a look. Glenn as a master of the mocking look. And in him, I saw someone not entirely unlike me. I recall, when going to the bar and ordering a soft drink (I didn't drink back then), getting a look. I think I complimented him on his superior sarcasm and mocking abilities. And with that, a bond was sealed. It was not that he wouldn't mock me from then on. He did...frequently and often (I showed up at his apartment last October wearing wearing a kangaroo leather hat. I swear, his eyes got bigger when he saw it. It was entirely too easy). But I think he knew that I respected the ability and I understood the craft involved with being that particular kind of funny.

But here's the thing...when you're that type of personality - sarcastic and bitter, cynical and grumpy - you reach an age where you have two choices. You can stay that way and deal with the consequences, which often results in being more alone, and driving away friends. Some find it charming and amusing when you're younger, but as people get older it can wear on them. Or you can change. The hard edges wear away. The core lurks there and can come out...Glenn could still freeze people with a mocking glare. But I think he got softer, less grumpy.

I am fairly certain if he heard me say that, by the way, he would cheerfully tell me to go fuck myself.

Unsurprisingly, I think this entirely coincides with the appearance of Susy in his life. Full of energy, a bright smile, huge heart and simply one of the best laughs around. I know a lot of people didn't get it when they first started going out. Glenn was the grumpy one, Susy the one who seemed to glow when she laughed (a favourite Susy memory: the opening cartoon for Monsters Inc which involves birds being silly. Susy lost her shit, laughing so hard that the rest of the audience start laughing because she was. It was also my first date with Cathy). But here's the thing...it doesn't matter how or why something works, just that it does. And it did with the two of them.

Besides, sometimes we also dig too hard looking for stuff. He made her laugh. I'm not sure how much more complicated it was - or needs to be.

Glenn hadn't been well the last couple of years. Every time I saw them Glenn was doing his best to carry on as normal, but you got the feeling normal was becoming an increasingly rare commodity. Still the raised eyebrow was there if you said that he felt was particularly foolish. Although new, to me at any rate, was the genuine affection that he spoke of Claire and Sam, their niece and nephew. He was in awe of every little thing they did. I hung out with them in October, and he was showing me YouTube videos of people test firing guns (Glenn loved guns, but in a very respectful and historical way). Things weren't going great then, but they still thought he would get better.

Cancer took my friend at an offensively young age last week, depriving us all of a man never afraid to speak his mind, who was sometimes sarcastic and grumpy, but never for a second did I think his heart wasn't in the right place. And depriving my Susy of many years of laugher far, far too soon.

Rest in peace, my friend...

Review: Republic of Doyle, Season 3, episode 6

So, let's try some writing again before this becomes one of these things were I get out of the habit. Although honestly, this is the first day I've felt half way human. The last week has been absolutely brutal. I've actually written something about the last week, but I'd like a friend of mine, who has had a far, far, far worse week than me, to take a look at it before I post it.

Anyway, onto more frivolous matters, this week's Doyle episode.

Not exactly a secret that I had mixed feelings about the first four episodes of the season (I missed last week's, although I heard it was all right). The problem was that they were slipping back into lazy habits with some of the characters. Plus bringing back annoying ones. It felt like a show slipping back into its first season rather than striking forward into its third.

This one had a bit of this as well, diving back into the Jake/Leslie storyline, but considering she spent most of the season pissed off with him it had to be dealt with at some point. What brings them together is perhaps the stupidest armour truck robbery in history, coupled with criminal so stupid I actually have no problem they're from St. John's. The city is not exactly filled with criminal masterminds.

In subplot #2, Dez bumblingly tries to figure out what to do with the hot med student and fails to understand that med students basically don't sleep or have a life for about 6 years. In subplot #3, we find out at least partially what's going on with Kathleen, Mal's daughter. Short answer, she's a skank. As I noted before, Mal's a nice guy. Crap dad, but nice guy.

The main story was actually pretty straight forward. Dumb criminals (I mean, seriously dumb criminals) rob an armour truck. Leslie and Jake just happen to be there, intervene and then get stuck in the back of the truck.

The fun thing isn't the plot itself at this point. What is fun is the Leslie/Jake interaction. There's some seriously sleezy attempts on Jake's part to win her over. It's hilariously awful and she's having no part of it right up until he gets shot. But the dialogue really works between the two of them and there is nice chemistry between the two of them.

It's also nice to see that Jake wasn't in charge when they were trapped in the van. She's a cop, she's the one that's in charge and she let's him know it. Although the line about how good a shot she is would be more impressive if she actually managed to hit someone when firing at the crooks. The scenes between the two of them are the highlight of the show, even if you have to accept the fact that the cops in St. John's are deeply stupid (of course they would never think of going to the apartment of one the crooks, even after he's been identified. Only Jake and Dez would come up with that idea). Then again, it's not like Doyle has ever really portrayed the cops in town as being anything other than marginally brain dead.

So yeah, that worked. Not the greatest mystery of the week, but I'll take a slightly dumb, but amusing, mystery if the actors are crackling, which Jake and Lelie were this time around. This has been a decent turnaround season for Leslie, considering how awful last season was for her. Pity about the reset at the end, but hardly unexpected. Tune in next time when Jake will do something stupid with another woman and Leslie will walk in during an unfortunate moment, leading to a Three's Company situation...

As for the Dez subplot, it was all right. Cathy was cracking up, but a little Dez bumbling goes a long way for me, and this evening there was a lot of Dez bumbling. But it did give a few amusing moments, including the scene where Jake tricked him into being handcuffed to the bed.

As for the Kathleen is a skank subplot, well, it did give Rose something to do, offered up one crackling piece of dialogue and managed to make Tinny look sympathetic. So I guess it worked, although it would be nice if Mal would clue in at some point the spectacular amount his kids are fuck-ups.

Quotes of the week:
"I'll do worse if you don't shoo"
"Did you just shoo me?" - Leslie and Jake

"Where's Jake. It's the second Friday of the month"
"Oh my God, half price whiskey tasting..." - Mal and Rose, beginning to realize there's something deeply wrong if Jake isn't around.

"I didn't do anything wrong."
"I don't care. That's irrelevant information. Go. Now." - Kathleen's latest winner and Rose, laying the smack down.

"I'm trapped in the back of an armoured van with you and I'm lucky." - Leslie

"I should have gotten shot a long time ago." - Jake

"Honestly, I like you better half naked, but that jacket looks good on you." - Jake

"Walk it off. Oh, and for the record, I'm glad you're not dead." - Mal, father of the year.

"Sleep well, son, because I'm going to murder you when you wake up. Stop being an idiot." Mal, father of the year.

Last Five
1. Miles to go - Allison Krauss and Union Station
2. Some boys - Death Cab For Cutie
3. Rise up with fists - Jenny Lewis*
4. Lonely lonely - Feist
5. Grey day - Madness

Potter review

(Still dealing with a few personal things. In the meantime, a post I've had banked since around Christmas for a rainy day....)

One of the gifts Cathy and I received over Christmas was the last Harry Potter movie. We're apparently difficult to buy for (I'm not. I'm dead easy. I have a list on Chapters. Go forth and buy from it), but movies are normally a safe bet. I have no idea how many movies and TV shows we have, but it must number close to a thousand at this point.

It's cold and dark up here and there's crap on TV. We need to be entertained.

So on a lark we decided to do a Harry Potter movie marathon. All eight movies over two days. Given that they all clock in around 2.5 hours, that's a lot of Potter in a short period of time. So I decided to do a list of the best to the worst of the movies. Although I will say this much... The Deathly Hallows Part 2 got screwed at the Oscars. This isn't an exceptional Oscar season by any means...there's no Schindler's List or anything out there. And much in the same way that Return of the King got a ton of Oscars as much for the achievement of the whole Rings saga, I think Deathly Hallows Part 2 deserved some Oscar nods.

It really is an incredible piece of work when viewed as a whole. In particular, after a Best Movie nomination, Daniel Radcliffe deserved a nod for Best Actor, Alan Rickman for Best Supporting Actor, David Yates for direction and Steve Kloves who adapted all but one of the Potter books to the big screen.

Anyway, after watching all eight, here's where I would rank them...

1. The Prisoner of Azkaban - The first movie really to transform the series from adaptation of the books into a movie that stands on its own. The first two movies were slavish devoted to the books, which is nice and all, but at some point what's on the page doesn't work on the screen. Azkaban picked the stuff that worked, dropped stuff that didn't, often to the horror of fans, and grabbed things that were fun in the books (the Knight's bus, the whomping willow) and played with them. It's the first Potter movie that felt like a movie.

Also helping was Alfonso Cuaron's creative directing and visual flare. It's a genuinely fun and thrilling movie. The only strike against it is the fairly lame looking werewolf. It may be the lamest werewolf in cinematic history.

2. The Deathly Hallows, Part 2 - It's no easy thing to end an epic series on a satisfactory note, which Yates managed. Not too many people walked away feeling they had been cheated or that they hadn't landed the ending. Especially powerful was the five minute sequence in which Rickman all but steals the movie away from the rest of the cast, changing everything you knew about the rest of the series. You know it's good when the worst you can say is that it felt like they rushed the end a bit, that you wish they had managed to find a way to put that Voldermort vs. McGonagall fight in the movie. Oh, and the idiotic decision by the studio to convert the last movie into 3-D. A movie mostly shot at night or in dark places when 3-D movies make everything about 30% darker. Fortunately, not a problem on DVD.

3. The Order of the Phoenix - It's one thing for Rowling to write two of the series great villains with Delores Umbridge and Bellatrix Lestrange, quite another to have Imelda Stanton and Helena Bonham Carter just take them over and give them dimensions not seen in the books. They are tremendously fun bad ladies. Whether its Delores in her terrifying pink or Bellatrix terrifying madness, they are memorable villains. Oh, and to balance things out, another of Rowling's great characters makes her debut with Luna Lovegood.

Phoenix also has one of the best final third of the series, with the battles between Dumbledore's Army vs the Death Eaters, the Order vs the Death Eaters and wrapping up with the best fight of the series, Dumbledore vs. Voldermort. Oh, also throw in the best musical score, outside of the main theme in the entire series and Radcliffe's best acting. If there's a drawback it's that as one of the largest books of the series, it really did gut a lot of fun stuff in the book (the Weasely's departure from Hogwart's is not nearly as much fun).

4. The Half-Blood Prince - Oddly, the most human and fun of the series, despite the thoroughly depressing ending. Wisely deciding to forgo all the flashbacks to Voldemort's childhood, the movie instead focuses mostly just on the kids at Hogwarts and with all the drama that comes with being 16 years old. Funny (Hermione: [snaps her fingers] Hey! She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the Chosen One. Harry: But I am the Chosen One. [Hermione smacks him on the head with the newspaper] Harry: Sorry... kidding!) and heartbreaking (Hermione's reaction to Ron kissing another girl) it's enough to make you wish more of the movies had time to squeeze these moments in.

Unlike the Order of the Phoenix, the last part of the movie isn't nearly as entertaining. The fight in the cave is kind of blah, a big battle at the end of the book is cut from the movie and the reveal of who the Half-Blood Prince is, which you would think is a big deal as it's the name of the movie and all, is just kind of dropped there at the end with no emotional weight at all.

5. The Philosopher's Stone - It's easy to look at the movie's faults - the fact the kids really didn't know how to act, that director Chris Columbus seemed terrified to cut a single scene from the book lest rabid Potter fans kill him in his sleep, making the movie awkwardly paced - than it is to focus on its many successes. The superb casting, the fantastic musical score, the whole scale creation of a new world on the big screen that had previously only existed in people's imaginations...none of these things were easy. Columbus does a workman like job, but like any good workman he set the foundation, allowing others to build and develop on what he created.

6. The Deathly Hallows, Part 1 - It's not so much that the movie is bad, it's just that this movie had the least to work with. The first half of Deathly Hallows is some of Rowling's weakest writing. It's all set-up for the big finale. It's the movie people had to get through to get to the good stuff. Yes, there's fantastic and heartbreaking moments, like Harry and Hermione in front of his parents grave or what happens to Dobby, but too much of the movie feels like the book - lost in the woods.

7. The Goblet of Fire - If I praised Azkaban for transforming the books into a movies at last after Columbus's very dry recreations of Potter's world, then this movie fails that test. Of all the Potter movies, this is the one that feels like it has the least amount of heart. From the terrible way Fleur Delacour is treated (one of the few instances of women looking weak and helpless in the entire series), the aggravating without any charm of Rita Skeeter (and none of the comuppance of the book) and the fact that most of the characters look bored and tired, it's the most lifeless of the series.

8. Chamber of Secrets - Widely regarded as the weakest of the books, it's also the weakest of the movies. What was magical in the first movie looked kind of done over the second time around. And while there's improvement in the kids' acting, it's not until Azkaban that they truly look comfortable in front of the screen. Also, Kenneth Branagh is such a fantastic actor that he had no problem making Gilderoy Lockhart, one of the series most annoying characters, really annoying on the big screen. Nearly every scene he's in is unwatchable.

So there you go. I've probably been a bit harder than required on the last two movies, but really, they do leave me kind of cold. Feel free to let me know how wrong I am in the comments.

Last Five
1. Perfect symmetry - Keane
2. You're missing - Bruce Springsteen
3. What's my name (live) - The Clash*
4. Lamb on the lam - Band of Horses
5. Pleased to meet you - Wolfmother

No Doyle

No Doyle review this week. Cathy and I are back in St. John's for personal reasons and reviewing TV shows is pretty low on the priority list right now. Blogging resumes on Sunday. Doyle reviews continue next week.

Graphic review

Time for one of my infrequent graphic novel reviews. Nothing quite like a nice batch of them showing up from Chapters to put a smile on my face. And just so that people aren't completely lost, I'll mention whether or not I think they're suitable for general readers or the more dedicated fan. They're also not going to be huge, lengthy reviews...more of a general overview.

1. Captain America: The Trial of Captain America - When it's all said and done writer Ed Brubaker's run on Captain America is going to go down as one of the best the character has ever had. Well plotted out, dramatic, espionage with a ton of action and good use of supporting characters. Aside from massively overblown events like the Death of Captain America, the series has held up pretty well.

But it's been struggling for awhile now, pretty much ever since the Reborn (when the original Captain America got better after being dead. It happens) series. It's just not felt as tight. As if Brubaker had a story in mine, completed it, but is still sticking around. That coupled with the inability to keep a regular series artist is really dragging it down. I'm collecting the series on momentum as much as anything else, and that only carries you so far.

I can't really recommend it, for either hardcore of casual fans.

2. Wolfskin: Hundredth Dream - I'm a huge Warren Ellis fan and will buy anything he writes. Having said that, Ellis does misfire from time to time. Welcome to one of the misfires.

This is his take on Conan the Barbarian. But since it's an original character - meaning he doesn't have to worry about what the copyright holders think - and he's with an small independent publisher, the violence is completely over-the-top. Which is fine because I knew that going in. It's when Ellis tries to wedge in conversation about the changing of the world and the harsh realities of technology into the mix that it really goes off the rail. It actually feels clumsy, which Ellis never is.

I love his work, but his heart wasn't in this and it shows. Not recommended for casual or hardcore fans.

3. FreakAngels, Volume 6 - It's the sixth and final volume of the FreakAngels series, so if you haven't been reading it, I'm not sure I can recommend buying this one book. But I do recommend going and getting the series. And in case you weren't sure if a series about 12 strange British kids who destroy the world (or think they do) and what happens next, you can actually read it online, for free, here.

This really is Ellis in better command of his considerable storytelling abilities. It's fun, clever, has plenty of laugh out loud moments and Paul Duffield does a good job on the art duties. I recommend the series for both casual and hardcore fans.

4. Jim Henson's Storyteller - For those of you with a good memory, once upon a tim Jim Henson did a network TV show involving puppets trying to tell classic stories. It was quite good and entirely too smart for network TV, which promptly cancelled it. This book is a collection of stories and fables with the Storyteller recounting the stories to his dog.

Like any anthology, there are hits and misses. For example, I have big crush on Colleen Coover and her artwork, so her story "The Milkmaid and her pail" is simply gorgeous and a ton of fun. "Puss in Boots" by Marjorie Lui and Jennifer Meyer is beautiful and touching. But others fall kind of flat. But for the most part, it's still a fun little book, pretty kid friendly and reasonably priced. Recommended for casual and hardcore fans.

5. Atomic Robo and the Fightin' Scientists of Tesladyne, Volume 1 - With a title like that, how can this book be anything other than awesome? I picked this book on a lark after reading some online reviews. Good move on my part.

In the 1920s, under mysterious circumstances Nikola Tesla created a robot with an artificial intelligence who then proceeded to have all manner of adventures over the decades. Including fighting Nazis. One of the book's blurbs said imagine taking an Iron Man suit and sticking Indiana Jones inside it and you have an idea of what the book is about. I'd throw in a bit of Hellboy for flavour. Oh, and the art is lovely too. A perfect match for the kind of swashbuckling action/adventure story being told.

It's just a hellacious amount of fun - Nazis, giant Nazi robots, giant ants, wandering pyramids and an explanation as to why Stephen Hawking is a bastard. Irresistible. Go and buy it now.

6. Hitman: Tommy's Heroes - This is volume 5 of 7 for the Hitman series, so buying this book alone is going to leave you just a touch confused. But the series as a whole remains one of my favourites from the 90s. Tommy Monaghan is, well, a hitman. Kills people for money. But this the DC Universe, which means he has super powers (x-ray vison and telepathy) and he'll only kill bad people or super-villains (and the occasional escapee who gains powers from the nearby nuclear power plant).

So yeah, it has it's deeply silly moments. But it also hits on writer Garth Ennis usual themes of loyalty and friendship. This volume features Tommy and his friend Natt dealing with the fallout of a screw-up when they were soldiers during the Gulf War (accidentally killing SAS is a bad idea), an attempt to go to Africa to try and do the right thing (and make money) and a bit of an origin which is, of course, quite tragic.

It also has, no kidding, one of the best Superman stories ever written. Go figure. Recommended for hardcore fans.

7. X-Factor: Scar Tissue - This is volume 12 of the series and it's buried in X-Men storytelling, so really, if you're not already reading it, or the X-Men titles you're going to have a hard time understanding what's going on.

Having said that, it's still a fun little title. Writer Peter David is one of the most unappreciated writers in Marvel's stable. All he does is consistently write a good book, come up with clever ideas and juggle a large cast. It's good enough that I have all 12 volumes of the series at least. Recommended for hardcore fans.

8. Chase - I bought this because it was one of those cult classic series of the 90s that DC launched and promptly cancelled. It's being reprinted now because the co-writer and artist on the series is J.H. Williams, who is one of the hottest writers and artists being published now. This came out when he was new and relatively unknown.

Wish I could recommend it, but it's a clunky series and you can see flashes of what Williams ended up becoming, but he's not there yet. And while the character of Chase - an investigator with the Department of Extranormal Affairs which monitors super hero activity - is interesting, the stories do nothing for me. The whole book is kind of all over the place. Not recommended.

9. Batgirl: The Lesson - Let us ponder for a moment, the general idiocy of DC Comics editorial decision making policy. This trade features a new Batgirl, Stephanie Brown. She's had a trouble past, what with being the daughter of one Batman's villains, became a super hero called Spoiler, became Robin, died, then came back (it happens) and took over the role of Batgirl, an identity that everyone opposed her assuming, including the previous Batgirl, Barbara Gordon.

Yet the series was tremendous fun. She's smart, determined, trying to make amends, occasionally screws up, but learns from her mistakes and tries to do better. And the dialogue just crackles, no other word for it. Barbara Gordon acts as her mentor, also known as Oracle. She's in a wheelchair, yet is also smart, determined and highly dangerous. The series was beloved by many, but especially women, who loved the two leads. It was a girl friendly comic. It was a comic that showed people with a disability can be strong and make a difference.

So naturally DC cancelled the series during it's massive reboot last fall, got rid of Stephanie altogether, cured Barbara and made her Batgirl again, succeeding in pissing off just about everyone.

sigh The Lesson is the third and final volume of this series. Buy it after you've bought the other two. Enjoy this fun little book. Then curse DC. A lot. Highly recommended for casual and hardcore fans.

10. Batman: The Black Mirror - Speaking of weirdness, there's a couple of things off the top you need to know. First, Batman is in the story, but not Bruce Wayne. At the time, he was dead (he got better) so this Batman is Dick Grayson, formally Robin, stepping into he breach. Second, it features a character I have literally wondered what had happened to him for 25 years - Commissioner Gordon's son, James. And third, this is quite possible one of the best Batman stories I've read in years, if not decades.

What we have here is several stories - a broker selling Batman villain gear to the rich, how a killer whale got inside a bank, a Joker story - all mixed together with the larger story of who is James Gordon and is he as dangerous as some people think he is.

Scott Snyder puts together a hell of a story, ably assisted by Jock and Francesco Francavilla (Jock is going to win awards for the cover he put together featuring the Joker). It's the easiest thing in the world to not expect much from this story. It's not the "real" Batman, it's as much a character piece for Commissioner Gordon as it is a Batman story. But it's a hell of piece of work. Christopher Nolan, if he was doing a fourth Batman movie, would rob material from this. It's that good. Highly recommended for casual and hardcore fans.

Last Five
1. Nutune - Drive
2. I was meant for the stage - The Decemberists
3. Panama - Van Halen
4. Hallelujah (live) - Leonard Cohen *
5. Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out) - Arcade Fire

By air or by sea

If you were to ask people in Nunavut nagging inconvenience (not to be confused with actual major life and death issues like the high suicide rates, for example) the quality of internet services available in the territory would certainly make most people's top 5 list.

For example, I'm watching a friend of mine, who lives just up the road, venting on Facebook as I write, about her internet speed this evening. Her download is 40.4 mbs, and her upload is 127 mbs. For those of you with any tech savvy living down south, you're probably doing a spit take. But numbers like that, even for those on "high speed" internet are quite typical. She's also probably paying more than $100 a month for that with harsh limits on how much she can use it before the rather severe financial penalties kick in for exceeding it.

But what's interesting is in the last few weeks, we're seeing a bit of a battle for what the next generation of internet servicing the north is going to look like.

In this corner we have Doug Cunningham who is pitching, no kidding, a $600 million fibre-optic cable stretching from Tokyo, Japan to London, England via a route that takes it through the Canadian Arctic. And since it's going through the arctic, well, why not connect it to a bunch of communities along the way, giving the north it's first real taste of what people down south take for granted.

I have to admit, the first time I heard this my finally tuned Sprung Sense went off. Sprung Sense is something all Newfoundlanders have, whose name comes from the disastrous Sprung Greenhouse. Basically, it's the ability to spot a businessman who is pitching something awesome, that people in an area really want, but may well just be someone looking to get a hefty government loan before vanishing into the woodwork and screwing everyone in his wake. Over the decades, Newfoundlanders have had ample experience in dealing with con men promising the moon and the stars, before fleeing with taxpayer dollars.

I'd never heard of Cunningham before and the fact he was talking about running a cable from St. John's to Iqaluit by 2013 and there had been no discussion that I had heard of regarding an Inuit Impact and Benefits Agreement (Article 26 of the Nunavut Land Claims Agreement) which people here A. Take very, very seriously and B. Aren't normally completed in a few days (try years) my Sprung Sense was going off like crazy.

Except maybe there is something to it. Telesat, who supplies satellite internet to the north now (My internet is through Telesat) comes out today at the Northern Lights Trade Show and says it's willing to invest $40 million. So I guess they're taking Cunningham somewhat seriously.

Of course, $40 million sounds good, until you realize they're saying $160 million is needed, so that governments will have to pony up the other $120 million. And, oh yeah, that will double capacity over the next 10 years. If you doubled capacity tomorrow it still wouldn't be nearly enough, so I'm not exactly wowed by plans to double it over 10 years.

Although at least there are plans floating around. I should be happy for that much. At some point there has to be a commitment to improve internet services in the north. By air or by sea, I don't care. As long as it happens soon and as long as the improvements are significant.

Last Five
1. Black helicopter (live) - Matthew Good*
2. Threshold - Beck
3. Before destruction - Spoon
4. Sun in the empty room - The Weakerthans
5. Albatross - Fleetwood Mac

Review: Republic of Doyle, Season 3, Episode 4

I've made it pretty clear over the past couple of seasons of Republic of Doyle that there is no character I hate more than Garrison Steele. I mean, Jake's ex-wife Nikki is just awkward because it's no easy thing to write an ex-wife as a regular character of a TV show because most men don't have much interaction with their ex-wife. And Tinny is just being screwed by the writers who have never been able to figure out what to do with her.

But Steele is just such a....douchebag. Which is fine. You want to introduce a reoccurring pompous douchebag as a character, go crazy. But the problem is, the main character knows he's one, the audience damn well knows he's one, but no one else on the show can spot the blindingly obvious. Which makes them deeply stupid. And it's kind of hard to like anybody on a show with a douchebag and a cast of idiots.

Even if he got some kind of punishment at the end of the show...maybe. But no, he walks away smelling like roses and leaving the lead, who we like, frustrated and annoyed. I can only assume Victor Garber is a drinking buddy of the producers, or has incriminating photos, or possibly a summer home in Newfoundland, which are the only conceivable reasons they keep brining him back.

As it stands, this was the least annoying appearance on the show, which is pretty much the way of saying I've just had my least painful root canal. I guess the advantage is that at least he got punched a bunch of times. He didn't die, though. Pity. Maybe next season, and I'm sure they'll torture us again with him then.

Steele is back and is, well drunk. He's drunk pretty much most of the episode, actually. He's also in trouble with two different groups of people trying to kill him. And rather than doing the sensible thing like stepping out of the way and letting them actually do it, Jake agrees to help Steele...for a cut of his next book.

What follows involves more drinking, something rotten in the state of Denmark...literally as it turns out, and an angry porn producer. On the upside, at least the plot wasn't riddled with holes. On the downside, it wasn't very funny, and unless I missed something I have no idea how Jake knew where the stolen item was and, of course, Garrison Steele was in it.

In subplot #2, we have Jake dealing with the fall-out with sleeping with his ex. Again, no idea why this story was introduced, at all other than for a brief scene with Mal reminding Jake that the ex is not the one he's in love with, and to get his act together. Fine enough, but I'm not really sure why we had to drag back the ex, who was so nicely barely around in the second season.

In subplot #3 Tinny's mom returns from Alberta. Now, as likeable as Mal is in the show, and he's kind of the heart of the beast, there really is something to be said for his parenting skills when Jake is clearly the one who appears to not be a total fuck-up. Christian fought a drug problem and lies like he's breathing oxygen. His daughter appears to have shitty taste in men, had no problem abandoning her daughter for a couple of years, and is carrying around a gun.

If nothing else, they finally might be able to make Tinny sympathetic and give her something to do. I guess we'll find out what's happening next week.

Despite Steele not being as annoying as he could have been, I'd still call this a miss. Four episodes in and the show is batting 500.

One of the comments on my review last week indicated that I might be too hard on the show and I should just roll with it and accept it for the genre show it's aiming for. Which I understand, really. I'm not comparing this to The Wire or The West Wing or anything. The acting and production values of the show are pretty good, all things considered. The problem is the really inconsistant writing. It's always been my problem with the show.

I don't understand how they don't see the massive plot holes in some of the episode's this season. I fail to see how they can't grasp just how bad a character Garrison Steele is (note, I'm not shitting on Victor Garber who is, by all accounts, a hell of a nice guy and unfortunately a really good actor, because he succeeds too well in making Steel so annoying).

It's the deeply erratic writing, which is capable producing belly laughs one moment, and head-smackingly stupid ones mere seconds later, which is really stunting the show. Maybe if they brought in some outside help. Nothing to kill the local flavour or humour, but perhaps just point out when they've done deeply off the rails. Which seems to be happening again.

Anyway...

Quotes of the week:

"You love? Like a human?" - Jake to Steele

"It would be different if she was the one, but we both know she's not." - Mal, to Jake about Nikki

"I'm like the Banksy of Newfoundland."
"More like the Bellhead from Outer Cove." - Des and Jake

Last Five
1. You don't see me - Keane
2. Picadilly sand farewell - Ron Hynes
3. Hold my hand - Gramercy Riffs*
4. Runnin' with the devil - Van Halen
5. When I grow up - Garbage

Ravens

One of the early Nunavut facts I learned was about ravens. I mean, I've read about ravens being smart, but until you see them in action you can't quite believe how clever they are. A gathering of ravens is called either an unkindness or a conspiracy. Both names work very well.

Let's give you an example. My neighbour across the street is dog-sitting for a friend. So this morning he has the dog tied on out front, a beautiful husky. And the neighbour put some food out for the dog. This, naturally has attracted some of the local ravens.

So as we can see here, the conspiracy is gathering around the dog, who is just sitting back and watching it all unfold.

Next, we have him wandering over to remind some of the ravens they shouldn't be quite so close to him and his food. By the way, the raven were essentially distracting him....

And now we have him chasing after some of the ravens who were making a play for his food while the ravens from the above photo were distracting him.

Sit, repeat.

I took these photos this morning around 11 am and as I write this around 1:30 pm it's still happening. Well, it's evolved. At one point I counted around 20 ravens, which was beginning to drive the dog mad. Even after the food was removed, the ravens still kept at him. There's only four over there now and the dog is curled up in a ball and is ignoring them.

I swear, right now it looks for all the world to be a game of raven chicken. To see which raven can get closest to the dog and not get eaten. They've done everything but land right on top of him.

You want to be careful about anthropomorphizing the behaviour of animals too much. For all I know, the dog and the ravens were play for the last couple of hours. Still, given how hard the dog is working to ignore them right now, it's hard not to view the ravens as dicks.

So there you go, your north lesson for today...

Last Five
1. Bull in a China shop - Barenaked Ladies
2. Susie - Wonderful Grand Band
3. Hunting for witches - Bloc Party*
4. My pet snakes - Jenny and Johnny
5. First love - Adele