Saturday, November 06, 2021

Twenty years ago...

 It was the late show. My friends Susy, Erin and I decided to go see Monsters Inc. which had opened the previous weekend. I recall them being insistent on it seeing it on a Tuesday, even though it was a terrible night for me. I was assistant editor of The Express and we put the paper to bed on Tuesday nights. That meant I had to stay until the press started to run, normally around 7 pm.

Plus, Nov. 6 is my mother's birthday. So I hadn't seen her yet either as Tuesdays were nuts at the paper. So I finished at the paper, drove to Shoppers to see mom who was, of course, working on her birthday. Then I picked up Susy and we headed to the theatres.

One of the earliest photos I have of us, from
2002. We'd been dating a few months. I think 
it was Andrea's house on Signal Hill on St.
Patrick's Day.
I'm not saying I was in a crooked mood, although that wouldn't have been surprising. I was crooked a lot in those days. I am saying I was probably very tired and probably not in the mood to catch a movie just because it was cheap night at the theatres.

Still, Susy was insistent. And trying to say no to an insistent Susy is never a good idea for your long-term mental health.

When we got to the mall, we then had to wait, because Erin was being picked up by another friend who was coming along last minute. Susy had just forgotten to mention it. This likely made me more cranky.

In 2001 I was a pretty decent journalist. I'd won awards and I thought my star was a bit on the rise. I'd taken on the job of associate editor of the Express a few months earlier. So I'm going to choose to blame the fact it was at the end of a long day and I was tired that I missed the obvious set-up that was going on.

Erin and their friend showed up. I'm not going to say it was love at first sight when I saw Cathy. But I wasn't so blind or punchy as to not notice that Susy and Erin's friend was really cute.

There are three things I remember from that movie:

1. Susy absolutely lost her shit laughing during the opening cartoon "For the Birds". She was laughing so loud and hard that others in the theatre turned to look at her and started laughing too.

2. At some point, Cathy dropped some popcorn and it landed on her chest. Instead of using her hands to pick up the wayward kernels, she bent her head down and ate them off her chest, laughing while she did it. And I very distinctly remember having this thought: "Clearly this is a woman I need to get to know better."

3. At the end of the movie, I mentioned that a group of us were going to see Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone on opening night the following Friday. Would she like to come along? She said she'd love to.

Lisbon, 2017. Where I learned it was dangerous
to say "Just one more pic" to a hungry wife.
And that, as they say, is that. Not that there weren't a few early hiccups. I nearly didn't sit next to her at the Harry Potter movie. Afterwards, we all went to the Duke (which still allowed smoking at the time) to dissect the movie and she waited around for several hours in the smoke, with allergies, and was in the process of leaving before Susy punched me and said "For God sake, she's been waiting for you to ask her out again. Go!"

I asked her to go see the only thing that came to my mind at that moment - Voices of Avalon, a touring show featuring Pamela Morgan, Vicki Hynes, Anita Best and Colleen Power. I said I had reviewer tickets. She said she'd love to go.

In fact, I didn't have tickets. So I was sweating a bit at the Arts and Culture Centre box office the next morning.

There's one more element to this story. Yes, it was a blind date. It was a set-up. But it was one that had been planned by some of our friends for at least two years. We were perfect for each other, but according to them, we weren't perfect for each other yet. Cathy had to dump a boyfriend and get some things out of her system (that would be going to Ireland and being drunk for six months). I had to ease up on the sarcastic asshole thing that I still, somehow, thought was charming even though I was 31.

Apex Beach, last month.
This used to drive me nuts. Susy and Erin dangled this mystery woman like a carrot, to the point where I was going to kill them. I recall venting to my friend Lori about this. She then spoke to Susy. Lori came back to me and said, "They're right, they know what they're doing. Suck it up. It'll be worth it."

It's absolutely been worth it. Every moment of the story for the past 20 years. There are ups and downs in any relationship over 20 years, but there have been far more ups than downs. I am a better man now than I was then, and she deserves no small amount of the credit for that. Anybody who knew me during my Muse days and who knows me now will say that.

In return, I've tried to be a rock for her, especially the last couple of years. The person that's always there when she needs them. I think I've done that. I hope I have.

I hope to write the sequel to this post in 20 years' time. And another one 20 years after that. I still have a lot more of the story I want to write with Cathy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make some popcorn for my wife. Because some things never get old, no matter how many times you see it happen....