So I've been going through the little mail-out that Iqaluit Cable has sent out to all the households in Iqaluit. Now, first of all, you can tell this is a high class organization when the big roll out for their long awaited and new digital cable service featuring dozens of new channels arrives in your mail box on three photocopied pages as opposed to a high glossy flier.
I'd like to say they were doing their part to protect the environment. I suspect cheapness might be the real cause, but that's just a hunch.
The one good thing about the new packages is that it's pro-rated. So if we want to put a hold on it when we're in Australia, they will. So we won't pay for it while we're away and there's no reconnect fee when we come back. That's something, I guess.
It's actually surprisingly easy to go through and eliminate most of the theme packages. The "time shift" packages, where I can get the same CTV, CBC and US networks, but on a west coast or east coast time zone are easily ignored. Thankfully I don't have to pay for French channels I never watch anymore as that's a theme package. I like news, but I'll be damned if I'll pay $6 a month for Fox News, Bloomberg, BNN, CTV Newsnet and CNBC. At least two of those channels are pure farce. I'll let you figure out which ones.
I like sports as well, but I can get by just fine with TSN and Sportsnet on the regular package, which means no Fox Sports World, ESPN Classic, NFL network, NHL network, Golf TV, etc.
The extra packages we are looking at include "entertainment" (duh) which has Showcase East and West, Comedy Network East and West (I need my Daily Show and Colbert Report), Bravo and Drive-In. We'll probably also get "Places" which has National Geographic, BBC World News (for when I want real news), BBC Canada, Bold and the Military Channel. We're debating "Lifestyle" solely because Spike TV is there, but we'll see. MTV is also in that package, and the notion of paying for a music video channel that doesn't play music videos doesn't settle well.
There are also two movie channel packages. Now, I was honestly looking at the one that also included Lonestar, Dejaview and TV Land because I thought looking at some old TV shows could be amusing. That was until I read the shows those channels actually air.
What sadistic bastard thought that three hours a day of Three's Company was a good idea? It's the single worst television show (outside reality TV) in history and three hours of it a day is a good idea? The program manager for Dejaview needs to be taken out behind the shed for a few hours. Or, worse yet, tie them to a chair and make them watch three hours of Three's Company a day.
TV Land isn't quite as horrific, although the person who put a one hour block of Bizarre on in the middle of the day, right after Lassie, is a pretty disturbed individual as well. And did anybody ever like The Hilarious House of Frightenstein? I thought that show was lame when I was a kid, when my sense of humour wasn't exactly sophisticated.
So yeah, I think if we get a movie channel package, we'll get the one with the Documentary Channel, Independent Film Channel and Showcase Action.
Those are all big "ifs", of course. My rough estimate says if we get Basic, Family and four "Theme" picks, which amounts to about 81 channels or so, it will cost close to $120, taxes and all.
Your entertainment isn't cheap up here, that's for sure.
1. Maria's bed - Bruce Springsteen
2. Falling for the first time - Barenaked Ladies
3. Lady Madonna - The Beatles*
4. Ways and means - Snow Patrol
5. The Future (live) - Leonard Cohen