Your Hollywood minute

And now in the category of "Well, that's the stupidest Goddamn thing I've heard all day", the Hollywood Reporter is writing that a Buffy the Vampire Slayer remake is being developed without the involvement of Joss Whedon. Furthermore, it would have little to do with the TV series and more to do with the original movie. The movie that bombed horribly....and for good reason. You know you're in trouble when Pee Wee Herman is the best part of the movie (his death scene is pretty funny) and you manage to make both Donald Sutherland and Rutger Hauer boring.

So yeah, bring that on. I'm sure it will work out for you just fine. Fans clearly won't be roaming Hollywood with pitchforks and torches looking for your houses over this. Nope. You're perfectly safe.

Next up, last night was the return of Jon & Kate Plus Eight or, as Zap2it cleverly dubbed it Jon & Kate Plus Hate. We actually missed it, which is a touch weird. I completely forgot about it, which is nothing unusual. I don't mind the show and can sit and watch it when Cathy wants to, but it's not something I actively seek out. However, as you might have guessed, Cathy's a big fan of the show. So I was a bit surprised that she forgot.

Turns out she didn't. She just didn't want to watch. "I like the show to see cute kids running around and how they cope with it. I watch it because its fun. None of this gossip stuff sounds fun." And judging by some of the comments on last night's episode, she sounds spot on in her assessment. It sounds like watching a train wreck with children as causalities.

That could be entertaining to a certain segment of the population, but I suspect it will grow tiring in a big hurry to others. You get the feeling that Jon would be completely thrilled if the show ended tomorrow. If the rest of the season involves watching a marriage disintegrate and seeing eight unhappy kids try to figure out why mommy and daddy don't love each other anymore, he might get his wish.

And finally, I meant to do this ages ago, but with the 2008-09 TV season officially wrapped up, here are my quick takes on the finales of my regular shows, in order of best to worst.

1. Chuck - "Guys, I know kung fu." I was practically screaming at the TV during the last few moments when I realized what was happening saying, "You've got to say the line!" and they did. God bless them. A great season that went out on a high note (Chevy Chase as a bad guy? Check. Scott Bakula as Chuck's dad? Check. A gun fight/wedding disaster from hell with Styx's "Mr. Roboto" as the background music? Oh hell yes) and, thank God, the show has been renewed. The only bad news? It won't be back until after the Winter Olympics in 2010. Which means a 10 month wait. Gah!

2. Fringe - A really solid episode throughout, but the end is what made me go "Holy Christ". Not so much the appearance of Leonard Nimoy as William Bell...that had been leaked weeks beforehand...but the final pull-out shot where you realized Olivia is meeting Bell in the World Trade Center. That was a big "no fucking way!" moment. Fringe is showing off J.J. Abrams love of alternate reality fiction (see the Star Trek movie) and so far it's working.

3. Castle - Another show thankfully picked up. Castle is like a nice update of an 80s sitcom/drama/murder mystery. It's a lot like Moonlighting, and I mean that in a good way. A small cliff hanger at the end, but it's just a fun, pleasant show, week in and week out.

4. The Amazing Race - A good season with good contestants and mostly fun challenges (the cheese wheel challenge is a classic). The only downer was the final challenge was the lame "memory quiz" which went on for too long. There was absolutely no suspense on who was going to win it during the last 20 minutes of the show. A let down after such a fun season.

5. House - I'm wondering if House jumped the shark. I'm not sure if it was Kal Penn's character committing suicide, or the fake out on House and Cuddy sleeping together. But this season has been rocky and the finale with House apparently hallucinating wildly was kind of boring and confusing. I don't mind confusing to an extent. There were element in last year's two-part finale that were confusing. But when it came together ("What's my necklace made of?") it was devastating. Here it was more "what the fuck?" The show desperately needs to get back on track next season.

6. Bones - Has been fun most of the season and has gradually, and mercifully, evolved away from being just another CSI knock-off procedural into something much more fun and touching. However, this episode went completely off the rails. A dream sequence ending that made people, again, go "what the fuck?" for nearly 50 minutes. And then Booth wakes up from a coma, we discover it was all a hallucination (or a bad short story by Brennan) and then gasp he doesn't remember who she is. Just awful. Worse than last year's finale, and I thought that would have been impossible. At least last year they had the writer's strike as an excuse. This year they have none.

And now, for a summer mostly free of TV. And curling. And probably politics come July and August. Thank god I still have Australia to write about.

Last Five
1. The first song - Band of Horses*
2. Sonnet in the dark - The Flash Girls
3. Robinson Crusoe - Chris Picco
4. We are nowhere and it's now - Bright Eyes
5. Calm like you - The Last Shadow Puppets