Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Assorted snark

Apparently one of these days where I read something and a flippant comment immediately comes to mind. Such as...

1. Singer Clay Aiken comes out of the closet. In other news, snow is expected to fall in Iqaluit this winter.

I actually saw Aiken perform when I saw Spamalot in New York back back in April. He was...all right, I guess. I kept think how much more fun it would have been to have seen the show when David Hyde Pierce was in it. Also, there were a lot of women screaming everytime Aiken did something and were lining up to buy things being auctioned off at the end of the show for charity that he had signed. So I think they might be disappointed. Not to mention deeply deluded for quite some time.

2. Is it wrong that the first thought that came to mind when I read that porn star Jenna Jamieson is pregnant with twins was "well, I guess she won't be needing a c-section"?

3. Some people get freaked out by clowns. I'm not one of them, but I do have friends who hate clowns and get the seriously hebbie jebbies over anything to do with clowns. So here's something to deeply freak them the fuck out...a link to a story about a naked clown calander. Yes, people wearing face paint, naked, except for strategically placed...pies. Among other objects.

You know, I don't even want to think about the kind of search results I'm going to get going through this blog now that I've included the words "naked clowns."

4. Nicole Kidman credits special "fertility water" for getting her pregnant. Yes, I think the rest of us call it semen, but if your husband calls it magic fertility water and you believe him, well, good for you.

Those Scientologist sure are wacky.

However, on the off chance there was magic water in Kununurra, I note that it's in western Australia and myself and Cathy will be sticking very much to the east coast. So despite the fact that it looks like quite a nice place, I think we're safe from any magic pregnancies during the trip.

5. Best snarky political quip of the day from the always relaible for snark Maureen Dawd of the New York Times - "Sarah (Palin) speed dated diplomacy on Tuesday."

Edited to add: A search for "naked clowns" came through at 3:47 am last night. So (a) that didn't take long at all and (b) it's best probably not to think about what kind of person is looking for naked clowns at that hour of the morning.

Last Five
1. Hymn of the medical oddity - The Weakerthans
2. Mo ghile mear (our hero) - Sting and the Chieftains*
3. God put a smile upon your face - Coldplay
4. MLK (live) - U2
5. Down in the ground where the dead men go - The Pogues


Megan said...

Clay Aiken is one of a very few celebrities that I have actually pitied. It has been clear to everyone for ages that he is gay, and yet his biggest fans have said that they only support him because they think he's straight. That's gotta have put him in a real bind. Most people don't actually face the possibility of losing their livelihoods when they come out. He's had a harder go of it than a lot of other people.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Bastard;

At 3:47 this morning, I attempted to seek out some adult entertainment on the internet, specifically those activities which involve harlequins, Scaramouche, Pantalone, and other characters known collectively as 'clowns'.

Upon typing my usual search term, 'naked clowns' into my browser, I found myself immediatly forwarded to your site.

To my dismay, upon arrival, I discovered that there is, in fact, no sign of any clowns whatsoever on your site, naked or otherwise.

I am sure you sympathize with my evident disappointment, when instead of nude clowns engaged in various activities, I found myself instead reading a series of snide remarks aimed at those who share my tastes.

In the future, if you ish to avoid the inspections of people of good (albeit warped) character like myself, please contain your writings to those topics which attract the sort of readers you so obviously desire.

Yours, Circus Lover

Ron said...

I didn't even know this fella existed until you posted this (thanks for that btw). To me he looks exactly like a candidate for America's first gay TV evangelical church leader- sort of Garner Ted with rinestones. That might not be too bad as the evagelicals are less malignant in a general way than the fundamentalists. Millions of women (and men) will tune in to watch him, see his beautiful family and hear the beautiful songs. Reading the article it sounds like he already has the techniques for getting money out of his "claymates" (Ugh!) perfected if the cost of membership on his webpage is anything to go by.