Monday, April 07, 2008

Alcatraz of Conception Bay

You got to love stories like this where Newfoundland communities are arguing where is the best place to build a new prison to replace the horribly old Her Majesty's Penitentiary.

"Oh no, our community would clearly be the best option to house hundreds of really bad people."

"No, no...our town is the best place for rapists, thieves and murders. It even says so on the sign coming into town."

"Pay no mind to them. When it comes to criminals, our town knows all about them."

I'm waiting for the town to argue that it would be beneficial for them to have the new prison because so many of their population ends up in jail anyway, it would be nice to have them close to home for their families.

For me, there was always only one place that made sense to me. And yes, I know people are going to expect me to say St. John's. But no, I don't.

I think Bell Island would be perfect.

First of all, it's close enough to St. John's where most of the courts are located and where most of the major trials take place. With due respect to Buchans, I don't think it makes much sense to be transporting prisoners from what is close to the middle of nowhere to St. John's.

Yes, I know trials happen in Gander and Corner Brook. What are the numbers of criminal trials held in those communities compared to St. John's? I may be wrong, but I doubt if the rest of the province combined has the same number of criminal trials that St. John's does.

The other think I like about Bell Island is that, well, it's an island. It's close to St. John's, but still off on another island. So on the off-chance that someone actually manages to escape from the prison, they still have to get off Bell Island. Consider it our own little Alcatraz out in the middle of Conception Bay.

Plus, as I understand it, if you want to give an economically depressed area a "boost" with a prison, Bell Island could certainly use a shot in the arm since few people seem to actually work there anymore. It makes sense to me....which naturally means there's no chance in hell of it happening. But I thought I would just throw out the idea.

Last Five
1. Immigrant workforce - Bedouin Soundclash
2. Separated by motorways - The Long Blondes
3. In our bedroom after the war - Stars
4. While we were hunting rabbits - Matthew Good*
5. Anyway, anyhow, anywhere - The Who


Edward G. Hollett said...


Just think of the movie possibilities.

Everything from "The Bird Man of Kelly's Island" to "Puffyon" (the guy has a puffin tattoed on his chest).

The Beer Hunter? "Look, ye 'oner we just wanted a dozen Blue and few smokes, bye, but the store was closed. So we borrowed a backhoe and went to work.".

Anonymous said...

That's a great idea.

And really if someone escapes from a Bell Island prison and can swim conception bay, I say good on em, get out of jail free card, cause they'll deserve it.


Pat the Wench said...

"I may be wrong, but I doubt if the rest of the province combined has the same number of criminal trials that St. John's does."

Why yes, as a matter of fact, you're wrong.

towniebastard said...

Well, I'll defer to your greater experience in those matters, Pat.

Pat the Wench said...

Deference makes me feel all warm and tingly inside.

towniebastard said...

I wouldn't get used to it. It only happens every second blue moon or so...