Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Oh dear lord

Isn’t this a sign of the apocalypse?

“And lo the Seventh Seal was broken and dueling biographies by ‘Rexperts’ were unleashed upon the land. And the seas boiled and the locusts ate all the wheat and there was a great lamination by the people and the squealing of teenage girls was heard everywhere.

“Then, mercifully, the world blew up. The End.”

No? Hmmmm…must have been one of those suppressed parts of the Bible that I heard about while watching the Da Vinci Code.

The scary thing is I know both of the reporters working on the books, at least in passing. And one of them, Kim Kielley, has my old job with The Express. That makes me wonder if I had stayed if Creative (which is part of the same company as The Express) would have offered me the job of writing the Rexography. Probably not. Kim has written at least one book before. Still, it’s one of those things…

I appreciate I have friends and family saying I ought to write a book one of these days, but I’m pretty certain they would disown me if my first one was a biography of a Canadian Idol.

Then again, Neil Gaiman wrote a Duran Duran biography. We’ve all got to start somewhere.

6 comments:

Liam O'Brien said...

*gag*

colette said...

"lamination"?

Better check Revelations again....

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO. So Creative's is the authorized biography but Flanker's is by the "Rexpert". Rexpert!? Did he actually say "Rexpert"? And wouldn't Rex, who presumably is okaying everything in the authorized version, really be the "Rexpert"? Or maybe Kevin Kelly knows Rex better than he knows himself.

Lo, the wars of Rex had begun and there came forth in the New Founde Lande a stunned silence.

towniebastard said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I wrote it in a hurry. I didn't have my "Biblical Guide to Pompous Words for Everyday Use" nearby.

Mireille Sampson said...

You know I'm out of the loop when: I saw the term "Rexpert" and thought, "why would there be two people writing biographies about rex murphy?"

Never seen Canadian Idol, never seen a full episode of American Idol...cringe factor's too high.

towniebastard said...

You're not that far out of the loop, my dear. It was my first thought as well. Then I read the article and blood ran from my eyes. Which also might be a sign of the apocolypse. Or Ebola.