Sunday, February 15, 2009

Things I don't understand 1

I don't understand the appeal of chicken wings.

It's part of the chicken of with the least amount of meat and then people go and dip it into fiery sauces and consume them in massive amounts. And I've never gotten it. I remember waiting tables and people coming in to look for the damn things and going "and I want them as hot as you can make them."

Normally, we didn't oblige because it's bad for business when you kill your customers. But one evening four drunks came walking into this place I worked in Churchill Square in St. John's. They came in 10 minutes before closing and demanded the hottest wings we could possible conjure. And seeing as how both myself and the cook wanted to go home and not spend all evening catering to four drunks with an intestinal death wish, he conjured up something evil. I have no idea what it was, but it wasn't simply hot sauce. There was jalapenos and cayenne peppers and some other stuff mixed in there. My eyes were literally watering as I bought it out to the table.

The poor dumb bastard ate about two, maybe three each, and then asked for the rest to be boxed up so they could take them home. That was after they each drank a jug of water.

So yeah, part of me understands that it's a macho bastard thing. And yeah, I know there are more seasonings you can put on wings that just rectal volcano flavours (part of me felt bad about the damage we did to those poor bastards digestive tracks). But I still don't get the fascination people have with wing's night. Wednesday night up here is probably the biggest night of the week because everyone is going out to either the Storehouse or the Legion for wings.

Yeah, I know it's a social thing and an excuse to go drinking. By why not nachos night? Or fries night? Why wings? Can someone explain to me the enduring appeal of wings? Because after 20 years, I'm still not getting it.

Last Five
1. Don't stop - Chilliwack
2. Devils and dust - Bruce Springsteen
3. On a slow night - Metric
4. Shit song - Kate Nash
5. Blackbird - The Beatles


Jackie S. Quire said...

I, for one, LOVE chicken wings. I love their battery goodness, especially if there's some gooey sauce dribbled on top -- but not too much, or they get soupy.

The best wings I've ever had were at East Side Marios. They cook their wings just in the regular batter (deep fried) then drizzle a sauce of your choice. I'm not big on the "burn your face off" sort of thing, but I like it warm enough that it has kick.

Then dipped in a little ranch dressing? I'm home.

Why do I love them? Hard to explain. Why do you love fries? Pizza? Any junk food.

For me it's the mix of the sauce and the crispy-ness and the fiesty flavour.

Man I wish we had Wednesday-Wing-Night in Rankin....

Anonymous said...

Wings accelerate the beer consumption. Plain and simple!

The Perfect Storm said...

Does this bring back memories....

Sometime in the late '80s I was out with a software sales guy and the senior tech for the company I worked for at the time.

The sales guy was Texan (actually had initials for a name a la "JR"). The senior tech was Trinidadian (is that a word?).

Both told each other they "knew" hot. We decided to go to Bangkok Garden in downtown Toronto (for those who know where it is). On the menu they have these little firey pepper symbols to tell sensible people what to stay away from. Our senior tech however knows that they will provide a "special" dip that exceeds what is listed on the menu and orders it.

Each of the two dip in and won't let on to the other what is happening to their internals.

I dip just the tip of a chopstick in and touch it to the tip of my tongue (I'm not that crazy).....or at least I thought I wasn't.

It blasted my tastebuds most of the way back to the back of my throat and I didn't touch another drop. I remember the rest of the meal was seemingly "numb" tasting on my tongue.

The two settled down and seemed to be satisfied with the draw that they'd achieved and the dip remained unfinished.

BTW, the software ended up being mostly "brochure-ware" in the end.


Megan said...

Chicken wings are gross. They have 100 calories each, and you have to eat tons of them even to take the edge off your hunger, because they're basically nothing but bone and skin. YUCK.

We make "wings" out of strips of chicken breast marinated in buffalo sauce. Much healthier. And dee-lish with mojitos. But then, isn't everything?

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's a mix of that caveman instinct where you eat with your fingers and can rip meat off bones with your teeth, combined with drinking a couple of beers and hanging out with friends. It is a food that needs a lot of work despite its relatively low yield, but can be savoured with an ever so delightful sauce.

SRD said...

let me guess, you're a 'white meat' sort of person, and you never eat the skin, right? chicken wings have flavour - especially if from nice chickens that have been running around. NOT the crappy chicken we grew up with in SJ. But, you are right, heat and flavour are distinct. Are there any Nando's in Canada yet? it's South African, portuguese-inspired fast food. Peri-Peri chicken. Fab! and no need to go for the hottest stuff to enjoy.

Anyway, shouldn't you let all the other readers know about what happened to all the restaurants you worked in????????????????????

towniebastard said...

I think I like the caveman instinct reponse. It makes the most sense to me so far.

And SRD, pretty much spot on. I like chicken breasts, what can I say?

And something on the restaurants is forthcoming. And it's long.

The Perfect Storm said...

Public service annoucements... gone wrong... enjoy


Adam Snider said...

Wings are delicious, and compliment a pint of beer better than most other bar food. I think it's pretty much that simple.

Plus, wings are usually super cheap. $2 or $3 for a pound of wings on cheap-wings night is a pretty hard deal to beat.