So I was puttering around a few blogs today and read Dana's, which then took me to Sarah's (as blogs are wont to do) when I came across the most marvelously bitter exchange. It's a month old, but I don't care, it's brilliant. I think it's Dana's quote, but she can feel free to jump on here and make sure that proper credit is given.
What is the quote? "I hate girlfriends. Girlfriends are sluts. The least they could do is keep their men home and stop cluttering up the bars."
To which I had to work hard to stifle the laughter because it might be hard to explain to people nearby what I was laughing at. It's an elegantly crafted piece of bitterness. I told it to one of my co-workers, who is back in the dating game after her marriage ended and she laughed. "They're right," she said. "And if they can't keep them out of the bars, then at least put some kind of bar code on them so I can run a scanner over them to see if they're single or not."
I admire that caliber of bitterness. I was quite the bitter person myself (Yeah, yeah, my friends can spare me the shocked "No!" reactions). But that was BC - Before Cathy. I was a God of Bitterness and was vastly entertaining to my friends as I could go on quite the bitter rant (Remember, God of Bitter, Lord of the Rant and Lord of Sarcasm) on whatever topic was annoying me at the time. My inability to get a woman was normally high on the list. For whatever reason, I wasn't making the correlation between sucky dating prospects and my bitterness. Hell, I was a near perpetual inhabitant of the infamous "Bitter Couch" at The Muse.
Bitterness and a rant can be fun (much like a Guinness and Strongbow mixed together), but you do have to be careful. The occasional dose is amusing, but if you're like it all the time it can get tiring.
But I don't really know that many, if any, bitter single women right now. I know Dana in passing (more friend of a friend sort of thing); most of them are kind of out of it. Hell, I don't have that many single women friends anymore. But about 10 years ago I knew some spectacularly bitter women, who were quite frequently single. Mireille was often entertaining. So was OM. My friends Tiffany and Andrea were queens of it. More than one night was spent at the Duke of Duckworth listening to them be bitter and blindingly funny.
If you're still bitter and snarky in your 40s, well, that's a cause for concern. But by God when you're in your 20s you should be able to be bitter and sarcastic and pissed off at the state of things, even if it normally ends up being mostly your fault.
So to Dana and Sarah and all the other bitter, yet blindingly funny women in the world, I salute you. Have fun and savor the bitterness while you can. Because before you know it you're a girlfriend again. And you know what that meansÂ…