Sri Lanka, Day 7

Nearly a dozen years ago, Dups gave me one of the most remarkable few days of my life when I attended his citizenship ceremony in Ottawa. Days of celebration with friends cumulated by watching him bounce across the stage at the Museum of Civilization to become a Canadian citizen. I've always cherished that event.

And now he's given me another memory to cherish for the rest of my life. Because, honestly, I've never experienced anything quite like February 11, 2013, the day he and Jenna got married. It was a remarkable day. Those of us in attendance kept looking at each other as if we couldn't believe we were actually in Sri Lanka and experiencing this.

My day didn't begin as early as Dups and Jenna's did, but I was up at 6 am, just in case he needed any help. Besides the plan was that most of the men would meet up in one of the hotel rooms and get changed, plus to give Dups any support or help he might need.

It was a fun hour or so. Lots of jokes and moments of cracking up. Dups running out of the bathroom and asking if any of us had any hair gel. Let's just say that of the men in the room at that time - me, Mike, Eddie and Tushar - gel was not something we felt compelled to pack for the trip. We concluded prolonged exposure to Dups could cause hair loss. When I think about it, I believe I did start losing my hair right around the same time I met him.

Later, when Dups was getting dressed he discovered that perhaps you should take your new dress shirt out of it's packaging sometime sooner than two hours before you get married, so Tushar was doing some frantic ironing of shirts.

But the moment things hit home was when Dups asked Niall and I to run upstairs. Niall needed to get some photos of Jenna and Nuala. He needed me to grab Jenna's dad's cufflinks, which he wanted to wear when they got married. So Niall and I got an early preview of how the bride and her maid of honour were going to look.

Breathtaking. No kidding, I've been to a few wedding and seen some stunning brides. But I've never seen anything like what Jenna and Nuala looked like. I think all I managed to keep saying was "wow." Although I'm not entirely sure how they managed to breath in either dress.

I remembering bringing the cufflinks back to Dups a short time later and telling him "try to remember to breath when you see her." I wasn't there when that happened, but by all accounts it took him a moment or two to remember.

After getting dressed, everyone began making their way to the main lobby of the hotel to meet before the wedding. I was wearing a suit, but a couple of the guys - Niall and Eddie - opted for more traditional Sri Lankan men's clothing. Most of the women either went with saris or tunics. We were actually hanging out in the lobby for about 15 minutes or so with Dups and Jenna (they had a bunch of photos taken before the ceremony) so everyone got to see them together. They actually were pretty calm, I must say. Although Jenna and Nuala were the centre of attention. People were either asking permission to take pictures, or trying to sneak one in.

Now, here's the weird thing...we didn't actually know what was going to happen. Dups Sri Lankan family did, obviously. But the western contingent didn't have a clue what was about to happen. Hell, even Dups and Jenna were a touch in the dark about aspects of what as to come next. They had made a number of changes from the more traditional ceremony. There would be no foot washing of the groom, for example. They cut some other aspects of the ceremony Dups was not comfortable with for personal reasons. So everyone was curious about what was about to happen.

Dups and Mike went ahead to the main hall. Most of us stayed with Jenna. Because Dups had so much family in the country, we decided to be Jenna's family. That meant at the appointed time, someone came and told us it was time. Jenna, her mom and Nuala went first. The rest of us followed behind, a little uncertain but going with the flow.

Outside of the banquet hall, we were greeted by men in traditional Sri Lankan dress. That's when they began singing, dancing and playing drums to escort the bride and her family into the hall. I keep using the word "remarkable", but it was. It was so full of energy and life and joy. You couldn't help but smile the entire time.

The timing of everything was also important. The duration of the celebration escorting Jenna in was dependent on her being at a specific place at a specific time, as I understand it. They had their horoscope read months earlier, so much of the timing of the ceremony was based on that. The drumming, singing, dancing and, eventually, acrobatics, lasted about 10 minutes. It could have been shorter, it could have been longer.

Throughout all of it we were encouraged to be as involved as we wanted. There was no problem milling around and taking photos and video of the festivities. There were seats, so if you wanted to sit down, you could. If you wanted to be up close and take photos, you could. There was a very specific ceremony and ritual happening going on, but it was also quite relaxed about how involved the families could be. It was fantastic.

After that, it was a ceremony. Dups and Jenna had to step on a special hand made dais at a specific time. The priest performed a ceremony that I think caught Dups a bit by surprise because he was not speaking Singhalese; he was speaking Sanskrit. It's basically the equivalent of a Catholic ceremony being done entirely in Latin. There was a moment when the priest handed both of them some leaves. Dups thought they were supposed to hold onto them; Jenna thought they were suppose to drop them on the floor.

For not the last time in their marriage, Jenna was right.

There were other moments. A coconut was lit on fire and cracked in half with a machete (it actually kind of exploded. Smoking coconut shrapnel hit several people). That was supposed to symbolize virility. Not terribly subtle, now that I think about it. But it's bad luck if it doesn't go well. The signing of the registry and saying the vows, which is a moment where I think it kind of sank in finally that they were getting married. There was also a moment where they had to light some candles around a bronze stand. I confess, I wasn't really paying attention to all the details of the stand at the time, so I missed the initial joke.

You see, we'd spent days at this point making fun of the national bird of Sri Lanka. It's the jungle fowl. In Sinhalese it's called a Fire Bird. In reality, it's a chicken. It's a jungle chicken, but a chicken all the same. So we've spent days exaggerating how fearsome the jungle chicken was ("Did you know the jungle chicken is the only natural predator to the elephant. It takes about 20 years of pecking, but he eventually wears him down"). It was reaching Monty Python-like proportions. It was a good bit of fun at Dups experience.

On top of the bronze stand was the bird. So when Dups and Jenna finished lighting the candles, they walked by and whispered to Lori and I, "Hey look. It's a fire chicken!"

I nearly lost it. Just a perfect little moment in a perfect ceremony.

After that, there were elements you would find in a lot of weddings. The newly weds were brought to a sati where people went up and offered congratulations and had their pictures taken with them. They went around from table to table and spoke with family and friends. There was yet another astonishing Sri Lankan meal. The food in that country is unreal.

And then, well, there was some milling about. You see, they weren't allowed to leave until a certain time. Nor were the guests. It would be bad luck. There was music playing, but well....one of Dups brothers was in charge of the music for the wedding. He loves 80s karaoke. I'm not kidding. And they were playing it loud. However, no one was really inclined to get up and start dancing to it. Oh, and there was no alcohol.

There were still a few more amazing moments to come, however. One was that Dups family felt comfortable enough around us that they went up and started singing traditional Sri Lankan songs, which was amazing. What's more amazing was that Dups father joined them and sang as well.

Dups dad had fairly serious surgery back in December. The fact that he was well enough to attend the wedding was almost a miracle. That he was up there singing along with his family...well, you'd have to be inhuman not to be touched by it.

His dad also said a few words at the end of the ceremony. I'm glad I got the chance to meet him. I wish I had met him when he was healthier. He was amazing at the wedding. From speaking to Niall, Rebecca and Mike, who had met him years ago, he was even more amazing back then. Plus, he has one of the great laughs. It just fills a room. You can't help but smile when you hear it.

And then that was it. The bride and groom headed out, with all the family and friends following. Jenna arranged a vintage car to pick them up and carry them away (they were back at the hotel 10 minutes later).

After that, the rest of the day feels kind of anti-climatic. A group of us went out on the upper deck of the hotel and had high tea. Nuala joined us. She'd changed out of her bridesmaid outfit, but kept the hair, which was like concrete. It didn't move an inch for the rest of the day. She told us later it took soaking her hair in conditioner for about 30 minutes before it even began to loosen up.

Later in the evening, we all headed down to the beach and ate supper. Dups and Jenna even joined us for the evening. It was just a nice night of hanging out with friends, talking about the day and enjoying each other. It was the last evening we were all going to be together. Exhausted, we all headed back to the hotel around midnight...

Assorted Bits
1. We briefly entertained the idea of going up and singing a song or two ourselves, but we had a hard time trying to come up with a song to sing. It was nearly "Barrett's Privateers", but we thought that wasn't exactly cheerful to sing at a wedding. It was noted that there are not many sing-alongable and cheerful Canadian songs that do not involve lots of drinking. We'll figure something out before the Kingston wedding.
2. Mike was considerably nervous before the wedding. He was the best man, but Dups kept him in the dark about what he was supposed to be doing. We never did figure out if that's because Dups didn't know what was going on, or if he just wanted to torture Mike. I think Mike was the most relieved once the ceremony was over and discovered his role was fairly minimal.
3. Both Jenna and Nuala had considerable amounts of make-up added, which darkened their complexion. Nuala, in particular, seemed to frustrate the make-up folks. She's Irish and has freckles. They seemed very determined to get rid of them. Thankfully, they failed...
4. Rebecca and Janius both wore lovely saris, but it was a near thing. They had been fitted for them a week earlier, but the tailor apparently tossed out the measurements. They didn't fit and it took a morning of frantic adjustments to make the saris work.
5. When Dups first bounced into our lives, nearly everything he wore was purple. In honour of that, Lori wore a purple tunic and I wore a purple shirt and tie. Which was fantastic, but it cracked up my my wife when she saw the pics. "You guys look great, but it looks like you're going to prom together..."

Sri Lanka, Day 6

Today was the Gathering. A group of people ventured from Canada and Europe to come to the Dups/Jenna wedding, but rather than all trying to travel together, we all went and did separate things in different groups. Lori, Nuala and I have never been to Sri Lanka before so there were certain cultural and historical things we wanted to see. But others had been here before, and so went to other parts of the country and did different things, like scuba diving.

But now, a day before the wedding, everyone began to gather in Colombo and making their way to the Mount Lavinia Hotel, one of the most posh hotels in Colombo. It used to be the Governor's residence back in the day and sits on a point of land and overlooks the Indian Ocean. It's a beautiful old hotel, but the rooms were kind of basic. Still, there are compensations. We were on the ground floor, but had a balcony with a view of the Indian Ocean, where we could watch people fish or kids dive into the water. So that made up for a lot. There were also Sri Lankan employees dress up in old colonial wardrobe and the drink and food menu is impressive.

But before the full Gathering, Lori and I went on an adventure.

We've done surprisingly little shopping since being Sri Lanka. Up north there were little in the ways of gift shops or even places specializing in local arts and crafts that we found. With the number of days winding down quickly, we figured a trip to the main market, the Pettah, to do some poking around would be in order.

So one air conditioned cab ride later, we managed to find one aspect of the market. The Pettah is huge and it all depends on what direction you enter it from. However, we'd managed to arrive on a Sunday. I'm still trying to figure out if that's a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, it meant a lot of interesting stores were closed, making shopping more difficult. On the other hand, it was almost overwhelming the number of people and noise going on.

Adding to that is, well, Lori and I are white. So we tended to attract extra-special attention when we were walking through. Pretty much everyone was asking us to come into their store. Most were very polite although a couple did try and gently grab you by the arm to drag you in. One gentleman thought yelling "Hello, white man" would do the trick. I laughed, so it very nearly did.

We also accidentally acquired a "guide" who was trying to lead us to specific shops (where he no doubt got a commission) until we finally managed to tell him to go away. Canadian politeness is not something that always works in situations like this.

The thing about Pettah was that there was still a tremendous amount of junk. If we wanted fruits and veggies, there was lots and lots of it. And at ridiculous prices. They had 5 apples for sale for 100 rupies. That's about 75 cents Canadian. There was a moment when I wanted to buy all the fruit. The bananas in Sri Lanka are some of the best I've ever eaten.

But as for looking for gifts, not so much. A lot of Chinese trinkets and junk, or cheap t-shirts with North American slogans, knock-off DVDs and the like. There was nothing distinctly Sri Lankan about the stuff for sale there.

So after an hour or so of wandering around there, so we began to get restless. So began our Tuk-Tuk adventures. Tuk-Tuks are the omnipresent method of transportation in Sri Lanka. They're three-wheeled bikes. The driver in front, with normally two to three passengers in the back. You can either negotiate a price or you can get a metered one. The later is preferable. You can also get one very plain or very ornately decorated. They're not the fastest thing in the world, but they're cheap, agile, their drivers have death wishes and if you want to go short distances they're a pretty good means of transportation.

So we hopped on one to go to a different part of the market, only to wash out there. Then Lonely Planet said there were a couple of nice craft stores in a different part of Colombo, so we grabbed another one and tried there. After 20 minutes of getting lost we finally managed to arrive.

It was Sunday. It was closed.

So this was getting frustrating. We grabbed another Tuk-Tuk with the intention of heading back to the Lavinia Villa hotel to grab our bags, transfer them to Mount Lavinia Hotel and maybe poking around there. However, we managed to find a nice clothing store on the way, hop out and picked up a few things.

Then, finally, we all met up at Mount Lavinia. Dups and Jenna trying their best to not be freaking out considering they were getting married in the morning. Eddie who had been wandering around Sri Lanka via public bus and trains and doing his own solo thing. Niall, Rebecca, Janius and Mike who had been hitting a few sites of their own, including climbing Adam's Peak, something they were still suffering the results of. Laura, her husband (whose name I'm blanking on) and their two young children. They had been merrily bopping around the countryside using buses and whatnot. Never in a million years would I have tried it, but they were considerably relaxed about it and their kids were amazing. Dups school friend Tushar made it in from London...a pit stop on his way to two other weddings in different parts of the world that week.

Oh, and Jan, mother of the bride, who I think was enjoying watching Dups and and his Canadian family (we came this far for him, we're family) interact with each other.

It started with taking over the bar area and later moved to the restaurant for a late supper. Theoretically the bride and groom to be were supposed to be going to bed early. The bride had a 4 am wake-up call for make-up, hair and getting in her dress. And if she was getting up at 4 am, so was her husband-to-be. Just because.

He actually did need to get up that early to help with last minute set-up. What Jenna ended up doing when she parted ways around 11 pm I'm not sure. Dups ended up in Niall and Rebecca's hotel room with a group of us drinking, with stories and jokes flying. Lori and I packed it in around 12:30 am. Dups apparently didn't managed to get to sleep until around 3 am. Not sure why he bothered, but there you go. Now all that awaits is the day we all travelled half way around the world for.

Assorted Bits
1. You know how London cabbies have "The Knowledge" and they have to study for years and have an intimate knowledge of the city before they can become a taxi driver? Not so much in Colombo. Tuk-Tuk and taxi drivers rarely seem to know where they're going, or at least with us they didn't. Often they would nod their head when we asked to go somewhere, and then they would be constantly stopping asking people on the side of the road for directions. One guy took 20 minutes to get to our spot and asked directions about a half dozen times.
2. Tuk-Tuks cost 50 rupees (less than 40 cents) to get into. Our 20 minute drive cost about $3.
3. Lori has decided she wants a fully souped up Tuk-Tuk when she gets home. I'd like to see that.
4. I'm not much of a drinker, but Mount Lavinia Hotel had a chocolate martini menu. Lori and I both came to the conclusion that it had the potential to get very ugly, very quickly. I stopped at two as I didn't want to be hungover for the wedding. But they were very tasty. We took a photo of the menu. I think I'll be hitting a martini bar at some point in the future for a few more.
5. The lot of us getting together in one spot can be dangerous. We do take over a spot in a hurry. I can only imagine what the Kingston wedding is going to be like.

Sri Lanka, Day 5

I'm running a couple of days behind posting these updates. Sorry, but Colombo has been hectic. I'll get them all up eventually.)

So let's take a moment to reconsider drivers in Sri Lanka. On my first day in country, during our mad dash from Colombo to Kandy in the pre-dawn hours, I might have been a bit harsh. Exhaustion and culture shock may have played some role in that first impression. Certainly I was concerned that Dups might have arranged a lunatic to drive us in some sort of passive-aggressive way to do me and Lori in before the wedding (and meeting Jenna) to spare himself any horrors that we might inflict on him.

But after spending a few days with our driver, Rukman, and spending more time watching how he does what he does, I'm having to reevaluate things a bit. Oh, don't get me wrong, if he tried half the stuff he has over the last few days any police force in North America would have pulled him over, fined him to within an inch of his life, taken his licence and probably thrown him in jail for good measure.

But in the Sri Lankan context of things, he's actually a pretty good driver. He understands that when driving you're having a conversation with the other people in the road, which tends to be very different than North America, where courtesy is one of those rarities and can just as often get you in trouble. North American drivers are very much in it for themselves and screw everyone else on the road. Trying to drive like a North American in Sri Lanka would get you killed in about five minutes.

On this day, we began our mad dash from Anduradhapura to Colombo. Nuala had to get into the city at a reasonable hour for a sari fitting (she's the maid of honour). Dups had warned us the traffic was more horrific than normal so we were on the road by 7:45 am. The distance between the two cities is a little more than 200 km. It's like driving from St. John's to Terra Nova National Park. I could easily do that in less than two hours, assuming traffic and weather weren't really bad.

It took us six hours.

There are any number of factors for that. Our van is of...indeterminate age and not the fastest thing on the road (Nuala noted we were always travelling at 55 km/h, even if we weren't moving). While there is a lot of new pavement, there's also a lot of road construction happening. And yes, the traffic was impressive, especially as we got closer to Colombo.

So I had some time to observe things. The scenery is, of course, amazing. But after awhile I started paying more attention to how Rukman got us to Colombo alive.

There is a communication between everyone on the road. Horns are not used as profanity, as they are in North America, but as a way of communication your intention and your opinion. Rukman would frequently toot the horn when passing a vehicle to let them know he was overtaking them. Sometimes they would toot back suggesting that given the approaching transport truck, this was not a good idea (there are a lot of twists and turn in Sri Lankan roads. The vehicle ahead often have a precious few extra feet of view) and Rukman would back off.

However, when he was passing, even if there was a car or bus coming, the vehicle we were passing normally slowed down and gently veered to the left a bit, giving us a precious few extra feet to dive back into our lane of traffic. And when we were being passed, he would do the same thing.

This played itself out dozens of times over those six hours. There's also the recognition that the bigger you are, the more you own the road. So we were about middle of the pack in terms of respect/priority. We were ahead of motorcycles and tuk tuks (three-wheel bikes/ATVs often used as cabs), but obviously behind buses and trucks.

There was only about five times or so that I saw Rukman pull moves where I deeply questioned his sanity. But normally the Sri Lankan urge to not see people die prevailed. Even when they saw someone doing something deeply stupid. We had a truck in front of us dragging a large flatbed behind it for a good chunk of the trip. It was only the courtesy of the other drivers on the road that kept a truly horrific accident from happening, because he was driving like a lunatic.

It's not a system that would work everywhere, but it works well for this culture.

We did manage to make it into Colombo in one piece and got Nuala to the seamstress on time-ish. Afterwards it was a little power shopping for a suit for for the wedding and then eventually plunking down into our latest hotel. Last night involved a walk down to the beach to hook up with the happy couple and a few friends for some food (spectacular once again) and a few drinks. Everybody stumbled back to their respective rooms around 12:30. A long day, but a pretty happy one.

Assorted Bits
Who says advertising doesn't work. The thing that I've seen the most advertising for in this country, by a mile, is not for Coke or Pepsi or McDonalds or even Lion Beer. No, it's been for cream crackers. Two kinds in particular are waging a cream cracker war for the hearts and minds of Sri Lankans - Super Cream Crackers and Smart Cream Crackers. They're on billboards and store fronts everywhere. I finally broke down and bought some Smart Cream Crackers yesterday. They're nice and all, but I'm not sure if they're worth quite the amount of money being spent on advertising.
There was an epic thunder and lightening storm in Colombo last night. Perhaps for people down in southern Canada who are used to such things, it was no big deal. But it was the first one I've seen in ages and it was deeply impressive.
I've added another ocean to my list of ones I've been in. I now have the Indian Ocean. I thought that meant I had the set, but I was told last night there's the Southern Ocean, which is new, I think. It might take awhile to get that one.

Sri Lanka, Day 4

As much as I enjoy the big moments - the massive historical site or a pack of elephants - it's the little moments on a vacation that are often the ones that stick with me the longest. One of my fondest memories of Venice was turning down an alley - we were lost again - and finding a beautiful old door, with a sunflower in a vase in front of it. And it was that perfect time of day for the light to be shining on the door. A few minutes earlier or later and the moment wouldn't have been there.

It's a good day when you can have a little moment like that. Day 4 gave me three.

It was planned to be a mostly slow day for us. After all the travel and excitement of the last few days, we thought we would stay closer to the hotel and relax a bit. Maybe pop into town as Lori wanted to get a burner phone so she could call home and take a quick walk around. Dups recommended another temple site we might want to take a look at.

Dups, Jenna and her mom took off around 10:30. Around 2 pm we decided to finally get moving. Quiet moment number one happened when we were walking down the street and I glanced at a couple of soldiers, in full military fatigues and carrying their machine guns. Not an uncommon sight in Sri Lanka. But one of them had at what appeared to be at first glance a bottle of water. Then it started to move. I realized he had a bag of water with a goldfish inside and he was showing it to his friend.

I like that. I like it when you catch military people doing unexpected things. I remember being in South Korea and seeing two soldiers in full riot gear holding hands. Men in South Korea often hold hands, so it's no big deal. But for me, having only recently arrived, it caught my attention. So did this. The fish was probably for his child, but it was still a nice moment.

Moment number two happened at Mihintale, the temple Dups recommended. We got there and after climbing a significant number of steps were walking around the grounds. That's when it started to rain. We got some shelter from a tree, but looking out across, the rain was being lit up by the sun, so you got this beautiful view of the temple and the Buddha statue. I tried taking a picture, but God knows if it managed to capture the moment properly.

Moment number 3 happened when we climbed up even more steps and visited another part of the temple site. We came across a monk sitting on what appeared to be a pile of lumber. We were getting ready to turn around when he called us over. And there was this small temple of a reclining Buddha. No one else was there except Lori, Nuala and I. And the monk. It was amazing. I don't know why I like Buddhist temples so much, but I feel much more relaxed in them than Christian churches.

It was a nice afternoon and gave me moments I'm going to remember for a long time.

After the temple it was back to the hotel where we had yet another fantastic meal (we've yet to have anything less than great and quite frequently the food has managed to be astonishing) and then cracked open a bottle of gin that Nuala had been carrying for a few days.

A quieter day, but another pretty good one.

Assorted Bits
1. I don't know if Sri Lankans love lots and lots of steps, or if it's just Buddhists, but damn there has been a lot of climbing up steps on this vacation. Lori brought her Fitbit with her and it's been freaking out over all the climbing she's been doing.
2. There were a lot of kids at Mihintale, many of whom took that moment to try and test out their English on the white people. Which I didn't mind, although the one who "oinked" at me I gave a bit of a hard time to. Lori's favourite with the kid who ran buy and yelled "I'm fine, thank you very much!" The strange thing is, English is not something I've heard a lot of from the caucasian people we've seen. They're much more likely to be speaking French, German or Russian. I imagine they can't be terribly amused by the English barrage.
3. Although there's a lovely Buddha and temple at the site, there was also a talk rock you could climb for nor apparent reason other than it was there. Lori used up the last of her climbing courage yesterday, so she begged off. Nuala and I climbed it, but nowhere in North America would you have been allowed to have made it. The steps were mere suggestions half the time and most of the climb involved hauling yourself up using the guide rail. Nice view from the top, though.
4. It's not often I see Dups mad, but when you mess with people he cares about it's never a pretty site. We've been getting around the country with our driver Rukman. Most hotels have what's called driver's accommodations. Because so many tourists depend on drivers ferrying them around (Lonely Planet advises against trying to drive yourself. That might be the understatement of the year), many hotels have special rooms where they can stay at no charge. Our last one did not and they expected Rukman to either pay for a room or sleep in the van. Dups was not having that. It got squared away and Rukman got a room to sleep in, but I wouldn't have wanted to have been hotel management there for a few hours.

Sri Lanka, Day 3

The soundtrack to day three in Sri Lanka was Lori's terrified muttering.

"I can't believe I'm freaking doing this."

"My husband's never going to believe that I did this."

And...

"Oh my freaking God!"

It was actually when the muttering and profanity stopped that caused some concern. That's when I knew she was getting seriously freaked out.

The day started with a cold shower (eco-resorts have solar heated showers. Doesn't work so much first thing in the morning), a spectacular breakfast and trying to figure out where the day was going to bring us. Fortunately Dups had the plan which involved going to Sigiriya. It's worth doing a quick Google on the history of the place, which is quite extensive and I won't go into in detail here. But let's just say that an ancient king of Sri Lanka decided to build a fortress and put it on top of a massive hunk of rock in the middle of a jungle. This obviously sounded like a good idea at the time.

We drove right past it the day before. I have no idea how on earth we managed to not see it. The bloody thing is about 600 feet tall. But what we didn't know when we were going there, and after we arrived, was that we were going to climb this thing.

I remember looking at it, judging the temperature and humidity, and thinking "oh, this is going to be a bit of a bitch to do." Lori looked at it and started freaking out.

Lori, you see, doesn't like heights. Didn't realize that before, or at least I didn't realize the extent to which she didn't like heights.

The extent is quite extensive. She really doesn't like heights. And now we were walking to a giant hunk of rock and being expected to climb it. She was not handling the prospect well.

To give her credit, she did climb the rock. She cursed the entire time she was climbing the rock, which I have to say, made the time much more entertaining. The cursing got much more...vocal depending on what we were walking on. If it was solid rock or concrete, then she was muttering. However, there were occasions when we were walking up metal stairs bolted into the rock. That's when the stress levels went up quickly.

To make things worse, during the last sprint to the top a local "guide" quickly latched onto Lori to "help" her. It's a scam and under normal circumstances if I had been paying attention or if Lori were not seriously freaking out, she would have brushed him off. But as it stands we have to give him a couple hundred rupee when we made it to the top.

Which was spectacular. Absolutely amazing views, where you could see for dozens of kilometres in every direction and could see almost nothing but greenery. It was astonishing. Lori quite enjoyed it once she got to the top and was justifiably quite proud of herself. So we took a nice half hour just savouring the views and enjoying the fact that we had made it up this thing.

Then we had to go back down. There's a sign at the top that reads "Going Down is Dangerous". Lori's comment was that if she knew that before going up, she never would have done it in the first place. Another friend commented on Facebook that here was a sign with multiple meanings. Ah, my friends.

Anyway, the problem with going back down is that you're actually looking down. When we were going up, it was easy just to focus on what's in front of you and not looking down. But when going down metal stairs, you can't help but notice that you're really quite high up in the air and on metal stairs attached to a rock.

Lori stopped cursing for large parts of the trip back down.

But we made it down and she was much better. She said 10 years ago she never would have done that, so it's quite cool that she did.

Oh, and we remembered being told that there was a special "visitor's exit" that would let us come out closer to our vehicles. I guess I'm naive or stupid enough to think of how considerate that was. I failed to realize what it really meant is when you're leaving you had to run the gauntlet of people selling you crap. But that was all right. And really, Sigiriya was amazing. There's something to be said for being totally surprised by the day's events.

Also, it was nice that I managed to get to the top of this bloody thing and I was fine, physically, when I got to the bottom. I was sweating, but that was because of the heat and humidity. But my muscles were fine. I'm really quite proud of that. A year ago that trip up would have killed me.

It's hard to beat a 24 hour period where you have 18 elephants (we saw two more on the way to Sigiriya) and climbing a giant fortress, but we did our best. We hopped in our van and our driver, Rukman, drove us to Anuradhapura. It's an ancient capital of Sri Lanka and a deeply holy site. It goes to show that the two hour drive there didn't faze us at all, despite occasionally close calls with buses and bikes. All it takes is a couple of days on Sri Lankan roads to make you uncaring about potential impending death.

After we made it to Anuradhapura and spent a couple of hours relaxing and waiting for the temperate to cool off we went to the Sri Maha Bodhi. It's nice to be able to visit this site and have Dups as a guide. He's been to the site before and while he's not the most devout Buddhist in the world, he still knows enough to provide perspective and knowledge when we were there.

And being there at sunset was nice. It was beautiful light, in a very holy place and friendly people. It was much nicer than the Buddhist temple in Kandy, which was a madhouse and filled with tourist all trying to get a view of Buddha's holy tooth. The grounds here are much larger, better spaced out and just much...calmer. It was a very nice evening. We gave some lotus flowers to Buddha and made a prayer and lit some incense and made a wish.

After that we went to another temple site. It was after dark and closed and almost immediately after arriving a police officer and a member of the national security force arrived. We figured we were going to be politely told to leave. Instead, Dups spoke to them and next thing we know, we're getting an escort around the grounds. They asked Dups why we were taking so many photos at night. Ah, those crazy white people and their cameras.

And that evening was followed by a nice supper and some Lion beer. And for those who know me, yes, I drank beer. It was fine. I've also drank some tea, which is quite nice here as well. Sri Lanka is doing wonders for expanding our horizons.  New adventures, new food, new drink. It's all kinds of awesome.

Random Bits
1.After awhile you can apparently become pretty bored with monkeys. We might be at 18 elephants, but we've seen dozens of monkeys. Dups also hates them and view them as little better than vermin. Then again, his mom runs a coconut plantation and they're viewed as pests.
2. The situation with dogs is kind of weird. There are strays everywhere. And I mean everywhere. They're often sleeping on the side of the pavement where cars miss them by inches and they don't flinch. I was surprised to see them on Buddhist temple grounds and no one cares. They're not feral, but we still give them a wide berth, just in case. They also almost always look half starved. It can be hard to look at.
3. Kids do love coming up and trying to practice their English with the white folks. It's amusing. Of course, if you start to try to talk to them, they tend to run off.
4. I wasn't sure how the security situation was going to be here, but it's not as bad as I thought. It's only been a few years since the end of the civil war and while there are police and security forces (we've been pulled over once and our driver had to show ID and talk to them), it's still pretty low key stuff. It's a country that feels very anxious to get back to normal.

Sri Lanka, Day 2

"So, what did you do today?"

"Oh, I went to work, did the usual stuff. How about you?"

"Oh, I got to see 16 wild elephants. So it was a pretty awesome day."

Such was the story of day 2 on the Sri Lankan adventures. And really, any day in which there are elephants can't be such a bad thing at all.

This adventure is proving to be a lot more...freeflowing than other trips I've taken. The original plan when we left Kandy was to head north and check out some ruins at Dambulla. Dups (I forgot to mention yesterday that Dups is the reason why we've made this crazy journey around the world) had recommended it and it did sound interesting. Until we consulted Lonely Planet and realized there was a national park along the way when you could get a safari for a very reasonable price where there was the possibility of seeing elephants in the wild.

Which pretty much settled among the four of us travelling together how the day was going to be spent. So after spending about four hours getting out of Kandy and then navigating the roads north, stopping by for a quick lunch at a roadside restaurant (a huge vegetable currie and a soft drink for about $3, which is ridiculously cheap) we then hit the park.

I've done eco-tours of a sort before in the past, but this one was a bit different. Not bad different, but perhaps reflecting the way Sri Lanka is changing. Lots of what I've read said now is the time to come to the country, what with the civil war being over, but that all the investment money that's expect to start pouring in has only just started to arrive. It's not polished up yet, or overrun with expensive western resorts.

So the safari guide, for example, could only speak a smattering of English. He did his best to convey what we were seeing and to try and give some information about the park. The road was a bit rough in places and there was a good chance of getting permanent damage done to our kidneys at different points. We could have probably mitigated some of that by not standing on our seats and looking out the top of the jeep at all the wildlife, but where's the fun in that?

So yeah, a bit rough, but I think I'm perfectly all right with that.

But Minneriya National Park was an entertaining few hours. Along with the elephants (the running joke of the day was did we see 16 elephants, or the same group of elephants on the way out as we did on the way back. Lori is saying it's 16 and that's that), but there were also water buffalo, peacocks, deer, rabbit, and more birds than you can shake a stick at, including the national jungle bird of Ceylon. Unfortunately, it resembles a chicken, so that became a running of the day...that we were facing the vicious national jungle chicken of Ceylon. It sounds like a Monty Python skit.

(Note: We just found out it's also called the fire bird. So it's a vicious, national fire chicken of Ceylon)

After the national park we made our way to Back of Beyond, which is not an exaggeration in the slightest. After about 45 minutes of going through various dirt roads of increasingly dubious structural integrity, we finally made it to the resort. On of the one hand, it was awesome because we were in a tiny little eco-resort (the lights kept going out after dark because the solar batteries were running down) and the food was amazing. Even Dups, the man of the hour who joined us at the resort, said it was some of the best food he's had in Sri Lanka, so that's high praise.

On the other hand, we're pretty sure they screwed us on the rooms. We were supposed to be in a treehouse, but ended up with something on ground level with one small room up in the tree we could use. The treehouse that was supposed to be ours was occupied. We never saw the guests first nor last, so we suspect they complained and stole our spot before we got there. Annoying.

But a day with lots of elephants, great food, good friends and the vicious jungle chicken of Ceylon makes for an entertaining day all the same.

Assorted Bits
It really is great to have a driver for these kind of adventures. I believe ours is costs about 7,000 Sri Lankan rupies per day, which is about $50-60 and includes the cost of gas. By the time you split it three or four ways the cost is nothing. We get to do a lot of travelling and by Day 2 the terror of Sri Lankan driving has eased somewhat. There were probably no more than a half dozen near death experiences yesterday.
Lori and I are old friends at this point (much to our horror, we realize we've known each other for 20 years now), but Nuala and Jan are new to us. However, we've settled in quickly. Nuala is a friend of Jenna, the bride, and Jan is the mom. I think she was a bit concerned she was ruining our fun or something until Lori and I reassured her with the following conversation.

Me: You don't understand, Jan. You're vital to our survival.
Jan: What?
Me: Look, if something bad happened to me and Lori, Dups would probably feel bad about it for a couple of days...
Lori: He'd probably make it to the funeral.
Me: Well, not if mine was in Iqaluit.
Lori: No, that's true. But there's no way Daphne (my mom) would let you be buried there anyway.
Me: But if something happened to you, well, killing the mother of the bride before the wedding, that's some serious bad luck.
Lori: That's major bad Ju Ju right there.
Me: Absolutely. So you stay with us for as long as you want. Our lives might depend on it.

Both her an Nuala are awesome, actually. We've settled into a nice rhythm between the four of us.

3. I was a little punch drunk the other days when writing about our arrival in Kandy. It's a bit of a mad place, but Sri Lanka is like that. Areas where there's nothing but wilderness and then concentrated urban madness. We stayed at the Queen's Hotel in downtown Kandy, which charged us I think $40 a night for a series of ridiculously large rooms (I had what was easily a $200+ room by Ottawa standards), but still filled with lots of that weird old English charm. It also reminded me of Booth Memorial. If you've ever been in that high school in St. John's, it was easy to get lost because the layout made no sense. Same with the Queen. Lovely place, though.
4. We've become pro-bat here. We thought for sure last night we would be eaten by bugs and were mystified why that wasn't the case. That was until a bat swooped through the area where we were eating supper. So we understand now. Bats are our friends.

Sri Lanka, Day 1

There's an open competition to see who has the worst drivers. Consensus in Canada seems to be that surely God it must be the ones in Montreal. I kind of have my doubts about that. I'm not sure they're bad, just so much desperate to keep moving lest a bridge fall on top of them or a sinkhole open up underneath them or a watermain explode and wash their car away.

Judging by my trip home at Christmas St. John's is in the running, although whether it's because of the goddamn townies who don't know how to drive or all the goddamn baymen who don't know how to drive remains unclear. Perhaps they can all just unite and blame people from Mount Pearl.

And Iqaluit, of course, laments French taxi drivers and lunatics on skidoos, but it's pretty mild stuff.

No, for world class insanity, let's take my day. Early this morning I arrived in Colombo, Sri Lanka. One of my best friends is getting married. If Moses reappeared in the Middle East tomorrow with 10 brand new sets of commandments, it would only be slightly more surprising then this turn of events.

Being the gracious host and genuinely thrilled that so many of us made the journey to see this (honestly, how often do you get to see miracles? Of course we had to come) he helped a lot with the arrangements, including getting a driver for me and three travel companions for the next five days. Rather than hang around Colombo, we decided Kandy, in the central highlands, as soon as we left the airport.

The driver is good, I should add, but he's good in the way that all Sri Lankans are insane when it comes to driving. Let's take, for example, the winding hill we were travelling up to Kandy. Our driver decided to over take a bus on a blind curve. Which is potentially more than a little crazy, of course. Except the person behind us, deciding we weren't fast enough, passed us on the outside. So at one point, we were three abreast, going up a hill and around a blind curve.

The first thing that occured to me was that I hadn't written up my will. So Cathy, you get everything. Even the comic book stuff you can't be bothered with.

Later on the in the day, when a city bus driver apparently had a last minute change of heart about committing suicide by ramming into us head on by veering away at the last second, I noticed the front of the bus had the phrase "Jesus Save Us" on the front. Sri Lanka is about 70 per cent Buddhist, so I would have though his attention would be elsewhere, but hey, thanks for the help today, big guy.

So yeah, you think you've got crazy drivers....Sri Lanka laughs at you, my friends. Because that was the two highlights of a dozen "Oh holy fuck we're going to die" moments today. I don't know how people on motorcycles do it. They should be dead 20 times an hour.

Of course, I could have been hallucinating it all. Twenty hours from Ottawa to Colombo, with very little sleep. And a bit of good luck when I decided to change my ticket from Iqaluit to Ottawa from Saturday to Friday because I was worried Environment Canada might actually get a blizzard call right. They did...all flights on Saturday were cancelled, which would have made my life a lot more stressful.

Because honestly, even with the long travel and crazy driving I'm thrilled to be here. I got to watch the sun light up a valley with mist this morning. I watched bats and monkeys in a botanical garden. I saw a Buddhist prayer ceremony and, possibly a holy tooth from Buddha. It was very quick, so it's hard to be sure. And tomorrow there are ancient ruins and possibly elephants.

So let's see what the next day brings us.

43

So 42 is officially over and done with, which is kind of sad. Not because "oh God, I'm older now and this sucks", but because 42 was a pretty interesting year in the life. And I think 42 is a bit of a mystical geek number, thanks to Douglas Adams. I didn't get the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything, but I did have a year of more ups than downs.

It started off crap. A friend of mine died and I found myself dealing with a medium-sized case of depression for the first time in my life. That was unexpected and rough, both on me and Cathy.

But after that, it was a year of remarkable things. After failing several times to lose weight, I managed to stick with it this time. I'm down about 65 pounds as I write this and if I don't lose another ounce, I'll be annoyed (80 is the goal), but I can hardly complain. I'm the healthiest I've been in my adult life right now, which is a good place to be. That being said, I had homemade macaroni and cheese for the first time in about a year this evening and Cathy made ice cream cake for desert...so I'm not entirely sure I'm going to bother stepping on the scales tomorrow.

For the first time since I've moved to Nunavut I have a permanent, full-time job. No more contracts, no more taking things on spec and hoping they become something permanent. I have a job, it's one I like with more responsibility than I've had before and I seem to be doing a well with it.

And finally, there was the travel. I got to go back to Newfoundland twice (one of them for a funeral, granted), a week in Florida, 10 days sailing around the Baltic followed by nearly a week in Scotland. We went to Greenland for the weekend, and I went to New York for a week, which ended up with me going to the New York Comic Con. And that's just the broad strokes. There were so many awesome moments in each of those trips.

So it was a good year. It started off awful, but it ended well. I'll miss it. But onwards and upwards, as they say.

I believe more in birthday resolutions than New Year resolutions these days. So what's the plan for year 43 on the planet?

1. Read more books. Seriously, I've fallen off the wagon on my book reading. Lots of newspapers, magazines and comics, but not so much with the books. So I need to get back to that, even if I have to make the switch over to ebooks because I'm running out of space for regular books. I think I might give more biographies a try.

2. Write more. The first novel is probably dead, but I have a bunch of freelance writing that I need to do, the blog could use another kickstart or even if I start writing short stories or something. I should be keeping a journal of my travels. I think I'm going to regret not writing down more of what I did this past year. It feels like my writing muscles have seriously atrophied over the past couple of years. Time to jump start that a bit.

3. Shift from losing weight to maintenance. There's a real drive and a sense of purpose that goes with losing weight. It's nice to step on the scale and see you're down two pounds. For 43, the goal is to find satisfaction that my weight is pretty much the same, give or take a pound, week in and week out. Not as much satisfaction, but quite necessary.

4. I read in the past year that you only have so much energy in the run of a day to make effective decisions. After a certain point, you're run down and you make bad choices. Also, that too many of us squander that energy on stupid decisions. President Obama is apparently a big believer in this, which is why he tends to wear the same clothes and doesn't get involved in deciding what he would like to eat. He's saving his energy for the big decisions. As he should.

I think in the past year a lot of my energy has gone into trying to change my exercise and eating habits. I like to hope that's going to fall into routine this year, so I won't need as much energy to focus keeping myself on track. So 43, I'd like to find a new place to focus that energy. Not sure where yet. Maybe on my writing or maybe on something completely unexpected. But I'd like to make smarter decisions.

So there we go...four things. I think that's doable. Check back in a year and I'll let you know how it worked out.

Last Five
1. Little earthquakes - Tori Amos
2. Kissing girls - Hawksley Workman
3. Don't you remember (live) - Adele
4. Here lies Lenora Jennings - Ron Hynes*
5. Love at the end of the world - Sam Roberts

Surviving Christmas

In fact, we did not die over the Christmas holidays, despite our best efforts.  The last two times I went home for Christmas I swore never again. It was like running a gauntlet. You were constantly running around, trying to see family and friends, plus get some shopping in. The two previous times we came home utterly exhausted and managed to leave a few people behind pissed off that they didn't get to see us, or spend enough time with us. I wasn't expecting this time to be much different.

But it was. Not entirely sure how that happened. Perhaps we're getting better organized when we travel. I actually had a master list of things that needed to get done when we were home and all but one of those things got done (never did get that lunch/coffee with one of my friend's and his new lady, but I did get to see him twice, so it was all right). But we got through the list of things to do and see, managed to get pretty much a new wardrobe, eat out at the places we wanted to go and still find some time to go to the gym and even some downtime. It was easily the best trip back to Newfoundland I've had in years.

Almost as miraculous, I was only up 1.6 pounds after the holidays and Cathy managed to lose almost a pound. I have no idea how that happened. After everyone congratulated us on our weight loss it was almost immediately followed by a plate of food or an offer to go out for supper. "It's Christmas! It doesn't count if it's Christmas!" Newfoundland, the place where weight loss schemes go to die because of love and kindness, I swear to God...

Not everything was perfect, of course. Spending about 90 minutes getting my teeth scoured by the dentist was not fun, but after three years kind of necessary. I'm also getting used to my new glasses. After years of being...lovingly reminded...that I should go and get my eyes checked, I caved in. And I do need glasses, albeit a very mild set of lenses (the optometrist called it a "standard middle-age man prescription." Lovely). They're called progressives and they are, frankly, a pain in the ass to try and master. I'm constantly bobbing my head up and down trying to get things in focus.

The only other downsides were being asked when we're moving home and having to tell people that's probably not happening anytime in the foreseeable future. Both our parents, and a lot of our friends, would like to have us close to Newfoundland. But we just don't see it happening. We also have to remember that Christmas in Newfoundland is not reality. There's a lot happening, people have time off from work, everyone is excited to see you. But about a week after Christmas, people start getting on with their lives. Back to work, back to school, back to the routines.

The really hard one to answer was when were we going to be back again. Well, for Cathy's that's always a straightforward answer - this summer. Once we finish our travels (After a friend's wedding in Kingston we're off to California for a few weeks), she heads back to St. John's. But for me, it's back to Iqaluit. I honestly don't know when I'll be back. I could get there in October for a week, but the organization I work with normally has their AGM that month, so it's dicey. It won't be Christmas as I suspect we're staying put in 2013. It could be the summer of 2014 before I return.

I've said in the past that I'm all about travelling these days...that I spent most of my life in Newfoundland and now that I have the chance to travel and see some of the world, that's what I want to do. But I confess, not getting back to Newfoundland for 18 months or so...that's proving to a surprisingly unpleasant thought. We'll have to see.

Oh, and for those tuning in for a Republic of Doyle review, I think the show finally broke me. I had a friend who works on set swear this season was better, but then I saw the first episode and watched pretty much every Irish stereotype imaginable run across the screen and wanted to hit my head against something. I assume the reason they didn't have actual Irish people playing the characters (as opposed to Mainlanders with ear-bleedingly brutal accents) was that they might have murdered people on set once they were given the script.

I'm not sure how many times I can write "there's some potential there, but they really need some smarter scripts and to tighten things up because it can be really stupidly sloppy sometimes." I've been saying it since the first season. We're on season 4. I'm resigned it's not going to happen. If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, then I think reviewing Doyle might be as close as I should brush with it.

On the upside, that new CBC show "Cracked" wasn't half bad. The initial ads for it were brutal, but once they switched their campaign, I was intrigued enough to give it a look. There's some potential there. I'll try and catch it from time to time...

Coming up, some New Year resolutions, the next trip, a few thoughts on Cape Dorset artist Kenojuak Ashevak, an idea to make some money from the blog and hopefully something resembling a semi-regular posting schedule...

Last Five
1. Glad rag doll- Diana Krall
2. Top of the world - Van Halen
3. Big bop/Hey diddle - Paul McCartney
4. We walk - The Ting Tings
5. Citizens of tomorrow - Tokyo Police Club

Craft sale

My Tumblr has been sort of half-assed, with me reblogging a lot of comic book art, which is fine because I really happen to love that kind of thing and it's never been something I've talked about a lot on the blog. For whatever reason I've always found it hard to write about comic books. It's actually kind of frustrating. If you were to ask me what my dream job was when I was in my late teens or early 20s (I'd accepted the fact by that time I was not going to be an astronaut) then comic book writer would have been the next option.

Anyway, so yes, a chunk of comic book stuff is going to show up there. But I am trying to get better at putting up photos of around Iqaluit. I just keep forgetting to take my camera with me when I go out and about. However, I did have it with me last weekend when I went to the Christmas Craft Fair at the high school. A bunch of those photos are now up on the Tumblr.

I really love that craft fair. It's one of the events I really look forward to each year. It opens at 11 am, but it's that popular it's nothing for people to start lining up more than an hour before the doors open. We showed up at 10 am this year and there were a solid 50-60 people ahead of us. Thankfully they let people line-up inside. I remember the first year going to it and you had to wait outside. It was something like -35C with windchill. Let's call it not pleasant and move on.

Each craft fair tends to be a bit different. There was one a couple of years ago that featured a lot of what I would call "southern" type of items. Christmasy, sure. But it was the kind of thing you could find anywhere down south. If I got to one in Iqaluit, I want sealskin mittens and coats. I want Kamiks and jewelry and carvings. I want fun Christmas decorations (We picked up a sealskin Christmas angel for the top of the tree a few years ago). I want fun stuff that I can't get anywhere down south.

This year wasn't bad. A few too many baked goods, I think. Which is particularly torturous when you're on a diet. I managed to only buy one cupcake and one piece of bannock. What I wanted to do was buy all the deep fried bannock along with all the chocolate cupcakes, find a corner under a stairwell and make scary sounding noises as I ate it all. I managed to resist doing this thing. But don't think the thought didn't go through my mind a few times.

The other challenge is to remember that you are there primarily to buy things for friends and family for Christmas. It's hit and miss on that. We did get a few things for loved ones on the list. And then we see something like this...

...and there goes the budget and the plan. It's a stuffed bear made of sealskin. We walked away, came back, walked away again, and then realized we were doomed and just bought him. There was also a stuffed seal there that I wanted, but just for the irony. A stuffed seal, made of sealskin had me hooked. When the artist told me he was using a design from Greenpeace from when they sold stuff seals as fundraisers (presumably to stop the hunt) then I really wanted one, but contented myself with the warm feeling that such a thing exists.

It's a fun way to spend a couple of hours. There's cool stuff to look at, a good chunk of the town ends up appearing so you're constantly stopping, chatting and showing off the cool thing you managed to find. There will be other events in town between now and Christmas. The Francophone association will have one this weekend. Arctic College will have a Christmas ornament show in about a week's time (all the ornaments are gone in about 15 minutes, so it's not so much a socializing occasion as trying to get what you want without killing anyone). It's a good time for local artwork in town. Not so good for the wallet, but hey, having fun and unique things are worth a few dollars.

Last Five
1. Fannin Street - Tom Waits
2. 45 years (live) - Stan Rogers
3. Barely breathing - The Hold Steady
4. Fine for now - Grizzly Bear
5. Bullet the blue sky (live) - U2

Sri Lanka bound

This has been a pretty strange, and exceptional, year when it's come to travel. One of the reasons Cathy and I moved north was to get the resources to be able to see more of the world. We were deeply envious of our friends who were able to gallivant to different places. We simply couldn't do it for the first four or five years we were together. I remember having a serious conversation about whether or not we could go to the Dominican Republic for a week for our "early" honeymoon (we moved to Nunavut three weeks after we got married. There was no time for a honeymoon then, so we had it before we got married). We could, it just meant we couldn't make any RRSP payments that year.

Things have changed a lot since then. We've travelled so much this year that I've been getting questions on how we manage. Honestly, we save our money to do that thing. We don't have kids. We neither smoke nor drink (much). We don't own expensive "toys" like ATVs and snowmobiles (and yes, I know many people up here use them for hunting). We don't have many expensive hobbies. My worst one is buying graphic novels and getting some original art.

Still, I think even we've been surprised by how much we've travelled this year.

1. Back to Newfoundland in February for a friend's funeral. OK, that was not a fun trip, but a necessary one and I'm glad we were able to be there for our friend when she lost her husband.

2. Florida for a week over Easter. I keep swearing we're going to go some place different for Easter, but God help me, St. Petersburg is kind of growing on me.

3. Over to Europe for three weeks, including a cruise of the Baltics where we visited Copenhagen, Oslo, Aarhus, Berlin, Talinn, St. Petersburg, Helsinki and Stockholm. From there we went to Scotland for several days to visit some friends.

4. Cathy went to Newfoundland for the rest of the summer.

5. A trip to Nuuk, Greenland over Labour Day weekend.

6. I spent a week in New York City in October.

7. And in about a month's time we'll be going to Newfoundland to spend Christmas (we have housesitters, in case you were thinking it's an excellent time to break in. And one of them is about 250 pounds or more of muscle. Seriously). I think it's our first time back there for the holidays since 2009.

I didn't think it was likely we were going to top that in 2013. I genuinely hope we don't have to rush home for another funeral next year. I don't see us going to Greenland again and I know I won't be going to New York (although I'll be pining to go again around October. Maybe in 2014 or 2015). However, we got a little bit of a weird twist a few months ago.

I always swore if my friend, Dups, got married I would go to his wedding. Now, because he's originally from Sri Lanka, this meant a pretty awesome trip. So I was cheering for him to get married one day. I just didn't ever see it happening because, well, Dups is...high maintenance, shall we say. I've known him for about 20 years. I figure I had a good 20 more or so to go before he might settle down.

But then he surprised the hell out of me by announcing he was engaged (I discovered this while checking my email in a shopping mall in Talinn, Estonia. The screaming and profanity may have disturbed the locals). So now clearly there was going to be a trip to Sri Lanka in our future. He managed to further surprise me by announcing the wedding was going to take place in February, 2013.

I don't believe Dups thought many of his friends would make the trip. But a dedicated group of lunatics have decided we're going to do it. He's having a second wedding the summer for friends who can't make it, and I'll go to that as well. I apparently collect major Dups life events, what with me attending both of his university convocations and his citizenship ceremony.

So yeah, as of February 3 I'm on a flight Ottawa-London-Colombo. Which will take about 20 hours, so that'll be fun. I'll be heading back in the 15th, so it's a relatively quick trip. Fortunately, I'll have at least one, if not more, friends to make the trip with me. Unfortunately, Cathy won't be there. It's in the middle of the school year. She asked for time off without pay, but they didn't approve it (which didn't surprise her, but she had to try). It's sad, because I know she'd love to go, but she really pushed me to go when I was hemming and hawing about not going without her. This is why she's awesome.

Oh, and because it's a dig that needs to be made...the Ottawa-Colombo plane ticket? Cheaper than the Iqaluit-Ottawa ticket. So yes, a ticket for travel that will take 46 hours return and get me half way around the world and back (a distance of approximately 27,400 km return) is cheaper than the one for a flight that lasts six hours return (a total distance of approximately 4,100 km return). I don't care who shows up from First Air and Canadian North to defend it, that's bullshit.

Little things like that aside, I'm tremendously looking forward to go to Dups wedding and seeing a country I never thought I would get to visit (mostly because I never thought Dups would get married). So I'm excited by that.

So maybe not as much travel in 2013, but in terms of interesting travel, it's off to a great start.

Last Five
1. Cologne Cerrone Houdini - Goldfrapp
2. Jimmy standing in the rain - Elvis Costello
3. The Burroughs of carbs (comedy) - Patton Oswalt
4. Skip the youth - Frightened Rabbit*
5. England - The National

Punishment

I watched a lot of my friends get excited in the past week because it looked like there finally might be an end to the NHL strike/lock-out/general fuckery. Of course it didn't happen. Because neither side has lost enough money yet to make it worth while.

Look, I'm not the biggest hockey fan in the world. The only reason I followed it when I was a kid was due to peer pressure more than anything else. A kid who did not like hockey when you're eight or nine years old is targeted. And really, kids can dig and find ways to make your life miserable, so why give them an easy target.

But it's just never been my sport. I think I've written that you follow the sport your father goes for and my dad was never really a hockey person. I haven't asked why, now that I think about it, but he was always baseball. So I grew up a Montreal Expos fan and later, grudgingly, a Blue Jays fan. But I just wasn't interested in the sport. But I have to admit, over the last few years, I've had a steady growing dislike of hockey. I suspect it's going to escalate into loathing and hatred in short order.

That's because it's a dumbass sport, with dumbass players, run by dumbass owners and watched by dumbass fans.

The only part of that sentence above you can argue with me about is the sport. I may concede that point. The rest of is pretty well spot on.

Look, I'm still bitter about the 1994 baseball strike. That strike cost the Montreal Expos an almost certain play-off spot and possibly a World Series. They were that good. The Expos were never the same after that year, to the point where they eventually left town. The main reason they left is the fans never forgave the owners and the players. It's easy to remember the laughable crowds of the late 90s and early 2000s, where free hot dogs still only generate crowds of 10,000 people. But back in the mid-80s, the Expos were huge. I remember my dad going to catch a four game series against the Cardinals around '84. All four games were sold out; more than 50,000 people in attendance for each game.

Montreal fans punished the Expos for their sins. It took a long time for baseball to bounce back from that strike. Some would argue they never recovered. Baseball went from being America's #1 sport to #2, maybe even #3 behind football and basketball.

But hockey....no, hockey fans need their fix.

Look, I get you love the sport, but if you don't punish these silly bastards once this is all over - and I honestly hope the season is lost at this point - then you're nuts. Because they'll do it all over again in a few years time. Because they're deeply stupid people. But the best part is they think you're even stupider than they are. Because they expect you to forgive them. They view you as ATMs on legs and nothing more.

Seriously, punishment needs to be dished out. Love your sport if you must, just ignore the NHL. That means no buying of tickets to games. No buying licenced merchandise. No watching games on TSN. If at least two franchises don't fold because of this idiocy, then you haven't done your job. The punishment needs to last at least until the next set of negotiations, so that they actually remember the cost of being this stupid.

By the way, I'm really serious about not watching hockey on TSN. I blame TSN for a lot of the sins of sports in Canada right now. I've enjoyed watching the silly bastards put on old hockey games and sports movies because they have nothing else to put on, because they've spent so much time focussing on hockey to the exclusion of almost anything else. And don't point out the CFL to me, because if TSN put 1/100th of the money and energy into the CFL as they do hockey the CFL would have 16 teams by now. They deserve to spend the winter suffering for their sins.

Harsh? Maybe. But as I don't see a Fan's Union starting up anytime soon to represented at the negotiating table, this is the only option. Players and owners may not have given up on the season yet; as a fan, you owe it to give up on them for this year...and longer.

Last Five
1. Be the one - The Ting Tings
2. Crazy - Me First and the Gimme Gimmies
3. Original sin - INXS*
4. But, honestly - Foo Fighers
5. Love is nothing - Liz Phair

Re-post: Remembering Enos Welsh

I first put this up in 2009. I still think it's one of the best posts I've ever put on this blog, even though I never wrote most of the words in it. So for Remembrance Day I can think of nothing more appropriate to put up on the blog then my great-grandfather's words about what he went through in World War 1.

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It's a bit late on Remembrance Day to be posting this, but I still think it's appropriate to bring this up. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned my great-grandfather fought in World War I. Last year I was discussing this with my father and then he mailed me this thing he had been sent several years ago. My great-grandfather made a prisoner of war statement after he was released and it was placed in the National Archives of Canada.

Reading it always gives me a chill. It was so close to everything changing. The chaos that comes from the creation of families over generations all nearly undone in one act, by one one bullet. Now when you think about that, multiplied by all the men who died during that war, you can only imagine how much more different the world would be today.

Anyway, this is what my great-grandfather, Enos Welsh, wrote about his time in World War 1 in his Prisoner of War statement.

Pte. Enos Welsh
Age on Enlistment 19 years, 9 months
Occupation: fisherman
Enlisted May 11, 1916, proceeded overseas September 27th, 1916.
Company in France - "A" Company

We landed at Rouen Dec. 1st, 1916, and after two weeks of training was drafted to the "Firing Line" on the River Somme. Took part in several raids near Chateau, marched to Arras on 13th April and on the 14th attacked the Germans at Monchy-le-Preux. At 5 am was wounded in the thigh, and a few minutes later was shot in the head by a German Officer and became unconscious for about three hours, was then captured as a prisoner by the German Red Cross and taken to an Advanced Dressing Station.

My wounds were dressed with my own field bandages and I was treated fairly well. Was then taken on a rubber sheet and carried to the nearest village where I lay on the sheet from 4pm to 8pm without food, drink or attendance of any kind. Was taken by box car and carried to another village and placed in a little chapel, used as a hospital. I was then inoculated by a doctor at 11pm, was take to Douai in a Field Ambulance arriving there at 3am. April 15th I then entered a hospital where they robbed me of everything I possessed and placed me in a bed without sheets. This hospital was in charge of Russian prisoners who were acting as orderlies. At 10am, April 15th I was operated on by three doctors without chloroform and suffered severely, they only laughed at my suffering.

I was then taken back to bed and was given a little barley water, the first food after being captured, was there till the 18th April without having my wounds dressed. From there I was taken on a hospital train and carried to Osnabruck (Germany), where my sounds were attended to and I was given paper bandages to put on them. Here I received a little more food. Was in hospital for four more months and was very badly treated - no nurses in attendance.

In August 1917 I was sent to Hammel and put in a prison camp where I received very little food till the Red Cross parcels arrived from England. My wounds were still giving trouble and were seldom attended to. After two weeks I was ordered to work but refused, as I was unable to work. I was then placed in a dungeon for four days without food or clothing. I was ordered to work, which I tried to perform. I worked on a small railway for four days and was then laid up for a month. Received very bad treatment from the sentries.

On December 7th, 1917 was sent back to Hammel and was marked for Manheim to be examined by neutral doctors. I was then sent to Chateau Dix (Switzerland) arriving there on Dec. 28th, 1917. Was three months in Switzerland. Arrived in England on the 24th, March 1918 and was there about two weeks and on Empire Day, May 24th, 1918 I arrived at St. John's.

Post election glow

It's been a good couple of days, I must say. Yes, there was the pleasure of watching the right man become president. There was the pleasure that came from a pretty successful congressional campaign as well. Democrats picked up seats in the Senate, including an openly gay woman in Wisconsin and, hell, just a woman senator from North Dakota makes me happy. Same sex marriage being approved by voters in four states (don't really care about marijuana legalization in Washington and Colorado, to be honest). They even picked up seats in the House of Representatives, although not enough to get a majority. The only way it could have been better is if Michele Bachmann had lost her congressional seat. She won by 3,000 votes in a district that's apparently gerrymandered to within an inch of it it's life. Oh well. Maybe in two years time.

I also had the pleasure of being spot on in my state predictions. Florida and Virginia were trying to kill me most of the night, especially when Virginia was showing Romney with a massive lead early. Oh, and at one point there was a 300 vote difference between Romney and Obama with about 70 per cent of the polls showing. So that was fun. I tried to stay up late enough to see Obama's acceptance speech and see if they would declare Florida, but gave up at 1:30. Just as well, I think they only declared Florida this evening, which would have been a long time to stay up.

But the thing I've been enjoying over the past two days as been watching Republicans set their hair on fire over the results. Now, one shouldn't get too cocky...Obama won with by about three million votes. When you have about 120 million cast, that's not a hell of a large majority. But seriously, some Republicans have seriously lost their shit. I can't even link to a fraction of it, but a few highlights would probably include:

1. White People Mourning Romney tumblr
2. Andrew Sullivan sums up the reaction of the Republican pundit class to the results.
3. The reason why Obama won? Sluts. Seriously.
4. Karl Rove, who if is not the devil most certainly has him on speed dial, blames Obama for suppressing the vote. Then again, after his meltdown on Fox News when they called the election for Obama and the fact that the many rich people who gave money (about $400 million) to his PAC are slightly pissed that not only Obama won, but that every race Rove's PAC got involved in, the Republican candidate lost.
5. Donald Trump losing it was matched byVictoria Jackson losing it.
6. This idiot.
7. And while everyone was talking about what a gracious concession speech Mitt Romney gave, he was apparently cancelling all of his staff's credit cards at the same time. Which is not gracious, but not unexpected, given his background.

And that's just a sampling of it. There's been a ton of coverage about what Obama did right and Romney did wrong, just as I imagine if the opposite had happened, Obama and his crew would be raked over the coals right now. Although I think my favourite quote, which of course I can't find, was an African American voter saying that while 2008 was historic, this election was personal. The number of black voters went up in some states, which I find almost impossible to believe. But if you've spent the last few years watching the president treated in way that would never happen if he were white, it's hard not to take that personally.

I hope the Republican party gets their shit together after this, I really do. I mean, Fox News and their pundits are basically in it for the money and not to actually do anything helpful for the country. The fact that so many people were shocked Romney lost when it was pretty clearly showing that's the way the election was going means too many people were in a bubble. I have some hopes...one Republican senator said people were crazy if you thought you were going to attract more people to the party by being even more hardass. There's a place for sane conservatives in the United States; they've just been drowned out by the lunatic fringe. I've linked to it before, but John Rogers "I miss Republicans" remains as timely now as it was when he wrote it in 2004. They need to start purging some of the crazies. Let them go and form a Tea Party. They can preach all the anti-woman crap they want; they'll be justifiably looked at as loons and will quickly fade away without the blanket of the Republican Party to make them look "respectable".

Maybe they'll get their act together. Maybe sensible conservatives will take back their party after spending too many years cowering before bullies. I hope so, but I guess time will tell.

Last Five
1. Invisible riverside (live) - Ryan Adams
2. Let me live - Queen
3. Bargain - The Who
4. Rush - Big Audio Dynamite*
5. Bite hard - Franz Ferdinand 

Election prediction

A number of months back I predicted Barack Obama would win the presidency pretty easily. That might not have been the smartest thing I've ever written because anything can happen in politics, including the president taking a nap during the first debate in Denver.

Still, I stick by my prediction. I think President Obama gets a second term once all the votes are counted tomorrow. I wouldn't be shocked if he lost the popular vote, mind you. Turnout is going to be low in New York and New Jersey because of the hurricane, Florida appears to determined to make itself into an electoral punchline again and there are rumours turnout in California could be low because the president is up by as much as 20 per cent over Romney in some polls.

Oh, and by the way, while I really do try and see both sides of an argument, Romney would be a disaster as a president. And I still maintain my argument that President Obama has done a remarkable job given the challenges. Not a perfect one. There are things that could have been done better. But I think he's done a good enough job to get another four years. With no reelection to worry about, hopefully he'll take a few more chances on the environment and energy policy.

Having said that, I think I should make my prediction over how many electoral votes he gets. Now, each candidate has certain states locked in. They are:

Obama: Washington, Oregon, California, New Mexico, Illinois, Hawaii, Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Rhode Island, Maryland, Washington DC.

Romney: Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Arizona, Alaska, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas, Missouri, Louisiana, Alabama, Tennessee, West Virginia, Indiana, Kentucky, South Carolina, Georgia, Indiana.

So that leaves the toss-up states. And this is where pundits start going on about how tight it is. Except in most cases it seems like those states have also made up their minds. Of the remaining battleground states, I'd break it down like this:

Obama: Nevada, Colorado, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Ohio, Michigan, New Hampshire, Virginia, Florida
Romney: North Carolina

So if that happens, the final electoral college total would be Obama - 332, Romney - 206

Not as big as 2008, but still not bad a margin of victory. I could be wrong on a couple of those, particularly Colorado, Virginia and Florida, but I don't think so. A lot of people have been making a big deal about the impact of Hurricane Sandy, about how Obama looked presidential and having the Republican governor of New Jersey standing by his side saying nice things helped him. Which may well be true. But I think Romney's comments about reducing FEMA to the point of giving disaster and emergency relief to private companies gave people in some key states - like Virginia and Florida - some pause.

Aside from it being a mostly dumbass idea, both of those states regularly suffer emergency situations. It doesn't require much digging back into history to find occasions where FEMA was needed to help with hurricanes. Even in mid-west states such as Ohio, Wisconsin and Iowa - which were close up until this week - FEMA has played a large roll helping after tornadoes.

So yes, there will be drama tomorrow night, like who controls the Senate and the House. I'm really hoping Michele Bachman, as loathsome a human being that walks the earth, loses her House seat. But I predict the drama over who wins the presidency will be over relatively early in the evening.

Last Five
1. Dead leaves the dirty ground - White Stripes
2. Monday morning - Death Cab for Cutie
3. Square one - Coldplay
4. My Oklahoma home (live) - Bruce Springsteen*
5. Foot shooter - Frightened Rabbit

Bring on the cable

I mentioned in the last post, the Moving to Iqaluit FAQ, that internet in Iqaluit is a shaky proposition. I'm not sure if it's the top thing that drives people nuts when they move here from down south, but it's probably top five. People get used to certain levels of internet quality...hell, I've heard people complain about how bad their internet is down south and it normally makes me laugh. It doesn't come close to how bad it is in Iqaluit. But then again, I have friends in other parts of Nunavut who would love to have what we have here...

Which goes to prove, no matter how much you whine about how bad things are, somebody always has it worse. For that matter, some would argue that given the many social and economic challenges that people face in Nunavut, is not being able to properly play World of Warcraft in Nunavut really the biggest problem we face?

I would argue having a proper telecommunications infrastructure is pretty vital to the development of the territory. Yes, there are negatives associated with that, and yes there will be frivolous uses, but for the positives will far outweigh the negatives.

For most of the time we've been here, better high speed internet has been a pipe dream. NorthwesTel and other northern communications providers have been unable, or unwilling, to make the investment in better satellite internet. And the notion of getting a fibre optic cable to Nunavut seemed laughable because the Government of Nunavut couldn't afford it and the Government of Canada certainly wasn't going to pony up the cash.

But then a funny thing happened. Arctic Fibre announced they were building a submarine fibre optic cable connecting Tokyo to London via the Canadian Arctic. It was going to cost about $600 million, but no worries, they already had the investors lined up. But seeing as how the cable was going right through Nunavut, was there any interest in doing a few branch lines to hook up some Nunavut communities along the route?

I think too many people were trying to pick their jaws up off the floor to react properly at first. I confess, my finally tuned bullshit sense (you develop it young when you grow up in Newfoundland and people you've never heard of before promise you the moon and the stars) went off. Especially since they were spending what seemed like an insane amount of money to shave a few milliseconds on the information transfer time between London and Tokyo.

Two things changed my mind about the seriousness. First, the satellite providers in the north went after Arctic Fibre as if they were the Spanish Inquisition. They were calling into question whether they would be able to get the funding, pointing the potential for the cable to be damaged by ice and not being able to be repaired for months, and that it wouldn't be able to service all of Nunavut.

The second thing was this article in Wired. It's not about Arctic Fibre, although the cable is mentioned a couple of times in the article. Rather it's about how some companies are willing to spend a lot of money just to get a few extra milliseconds advantage when it comes to trades on the financial markets. Milliseconds might not mean a lot to the average person waiting to watch a YouTube video, but it means millions to these guys.

(By the way, if you don't have the urge to pull every cent out of your RRSP and any other investments you have after reading that article, then you've a stronger constitution than I. It scared the crap out of me that this is how business is done. No wondered things are so fucked up.)

The last few months it's becoming pretty real. There's plenty of articles and editorials going up (Here, here, here, and here for some of Nunatsiaq News coverage. Even the Globe and Mail has noticed). At this point, I'm pretty much sign me up. Seriously, someone has just handed a gift wrapped package to Nunavut. You would have to be batshit crazy to pass it up.

Yes, there are risks. The cable could be damaged. But seeing as how it would piss off people with a lot of money invested in this, I think we can count on them taking a lot of steps to make sure that doesn't happen. There's the argument that since the cable will only service about half of Nunavut, we shouldn't take part unless all of Nunavut gets the same service.

That one makes me want to smack my head on a wall. Look, if a cable came from Manitoba and serviced Rankin and the Kivalliq, but nothing for Baffin Island, I'd be jealous, but I wouldn't say "You can't have it if we can't have it."It's so unbelievable selfish and shorts-sighted that it drives me crazy. Plus, there's the potential, with some government investment, to fix that problem. Maybe everyone doesn't get it, but most can. I believe towers with microwave repeaters could solve some of the problems.

Which comes to the last problem...someone is still going to have to invest some money from either Nunavut or the Government of Canada. The cable is going through Nunavut, but unless someone comes up with some cash, it's only going to land in two places, as I understand it. That being Iqaluit and Cambridge Bay (I find it amusing that the Iqaluit cable will link to Milton, Newfoundland, which is right outside of Clarenville. A place I mocked for years, even while working there, is potentially providing my internet. Oh lord). The cost could run more than $100 million.

Do it.

Seriously, I don't know who makes the decisions, but it's a steal. The Government of Canada makes a big deal about arctic sovereignty and economic develop in the north. Well, here's a gift. It's a big investment, but it can change the future of the territory more than just about any other investment they could make.

And seriously, screw Telsat and anyone else who provides satellite internet. It's been bad and getting worse for years. Xplorenet, which is what I use, is a fraction of what it was when we first got in 2.5 years ago. My three year contract is up in May, 2013. I'll keep using it until that fibre optic cable lands here. The day I can get internet via that route is the day I rip the dish off the side of my house. Satellite internet providers have had years to improve things, but did next to nothing because there was no competition and they were making big bucks off crap service. Now that there's serious competition, they're freaking out.

If all goes according to plan, there should be a fibre optic cable in Iqaluit by the end of 2014. It's two more years of this crap. But hey, it's a lot less years than I thought it would be. It's a gift. Please let us not be so stupid as to pass this up.

Last Five
1. Do you want to - Franz Ferdinand
2. A round again - Once
3. Don't tear me up - Mick Jagger*
4. On the bus mall - The Decemberists
5. Instant karma - Duran Duran