Proof of Life: 55

 

Cake, a 16-year-old Scotch and a Fantasia shirt.
A solid birthday overall.

So here I am, 55 and yet not free. It's like those commercials lied to me, the bastards...

So yes, 55. I never thought much about some of the other "Big" milestone years, like 30, 40, or 50. Yet, clearly, I'm now on the slow slide toward 60. Cathy and I are in the early stages of planning our retirement in approximately six to seven years. We found a house we'd love to have, but it's too expensive to carry at the moment and it would just sit empty for years. But I'm sure there will be another. 

I think 54 and the first few days of 55 will be some of the last sane days I have for quite some time. Not just me, but all of us. Pray to whatever deity you choose to believe in that we all get through this.

So what was there to appreciate about my 54th year? Far more good than bad, I think. We took our first vacation outside of Canada since COVID, going to Costa Rica and New England, which was nice. We got to see Bruce Springsteen in Ottawa in November, which was a bucket list item. I've been wanting to see the Boss since I was 15.

The dogs have finally settled down, thank God. Puppies are grand and all, but Sully was always more reactive than we would have liked when she was younger. She's much more chill these days.

I got some writing done (not on the blog, but elsewhere) that I'm happy with. Work is going well. I got a new boss this year and it finally feels like I can exhale again after a couple of years. It's nice to know that, once again, I can make an occasional mistake without the hammer coming down. 

And after some gentle smacks to the head from our doctors, Cathy and I are back on the wagon when it comes to taking care of ourselves. The last time I did this, about 13 years ago, I posted weekly updates on my weight loss, which was insane. Instead, we step on the scale at the end of the month. It's going well and we're happy with the progress. I feel better physically turning 55 than I did the last few birthdays. We've been at it for six months; maybe after a year I'll post a longer update on it.

I quit Twitter, which was easier than I thought.

On the downside: Trump, hollow billionaire tech bros who can never have enough, fucking AI, and, honestly, that Neil Gaiman thing is quite a punch to the gut.

A few weeks ago, I was asked at work if I had New Year's resolutions. I said no, I do course corrections on my birthday. Which is not a bad line, actually. So with that in mind, what are the course corrections for my 55th year on this deeply messed up planet:

- Keep watching what I'm eating, keep moving. Do the work.

- Read more books. I read an article about how, due to social media and other factors, people are forgetting how to read, which resonated with me. So, I have more time for a book. I'm partway through Ministry of Time (It's good, I just got distracted). I'm on volume 2 of The Murderbot Diaries and Alan Moore's new novel, The Great When arrived today.

- I've been writing and not showing it to anyone because most of it was terrible and I didn't need people trying to struggle to politely tell me it was terrible. But I think I've got one or two or three good story ideas or stories in progress (one of them made Dups laugh, and he pleaded with me to write it). So this is the year to finish a novel and then begin the process of finding an agent, and maybe trying to publish something. We'll see. I haven't a clue about how to get published. I suspect its depressing as hell these days.

- Cathy and I are going to Japan this year, which is something to look forward to. She's never been, and I haven't been there since the one day I spent dealing with work visa things during my time teaching in South Korea back in '97. 

- I had hopes to return to New York Comic Con this year, but current political realities make that unlikely. I don't have to make a decision on that until May, so a miracle may happen.

In a time of anger, bitterness, and despair, I need to remember to be a good person and encourage others to do the same. There are potentially some very dark times ahead, and it's going to be very easy to become angry, bitter, and resentful toward friends and family you truly believe should know better. Trust me, I'm somewhat of an expert when it comes to anger and bitterness.

Try to resist the urge and remember who the real culprits are when it comes to keeping us angry and divided. Make the adjustments. Don't give in. Keep kicking at the darkness, my friends.

Last Five

1. No need to cry - Neko Case*
2. Fighting in a sack - The Shins
3. Sweet disposition - Temper Trap
4. Any way you want (live) - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
5. The Dog/The Body - Sleater-Kinney

Year of the Bastard

 

A Canadian North flight comes in for a landing at sunset at Iqaluit, Nunavut on New Year's Eve. Except the sun is obscured by clouds. Most of you have English lit degrees. Work out the symbolism.

"It's going to be a good year for bastards, Spider." - Kristin, from "Year of the Bastard" in Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson's Transmetropolitan

I have a terrible feeling that Transmetropolitan will always be relevant. As I was thinking of 2025, the phrase "Don't let the bastards grind you down" popped into my mind. Except that the bastards are here, they're very rich, and they've brought heavy machinery.

2025 is going to be the Year of the Bastard. Everyone is collectively holding their breath, waiting for Trump 2.0 to begin. Allow me to kill the suspense—it will be terrible. It's going to be terrible in predictable ways, in unpredictable ways, and truly breathtaking ways. And this time he's brought tech bros with him. It's also not going to be confined just to the United States. The year 2025 is going to be a bastard year worldwide in many different and terrible ways. We are, as a planet, not in great shape at the moment, and the forecast isn't looking all that good.

My friends are reading this and thinking either, "Well, you're a ray of sunshine," or "You would know a thing or two about being a cynical bastard." Both of which are true. There isn't a scenario on this planet that I can't look at and go, "Well, what's the worst that can happen?" and then come up with some truly breathtaking answers to that question.

At a time when the world needs transformative leadership more than ever, we've learned a valuable lesson about being careful about what we wish for.

My way of dealing with this so I don't curl up in a ball has always been to remind myself that just because something can happen, it doesn't mean it has to. If you know this terrible thing could happen, well, maybe you can take steps to prevent it and encourage a few others to do the same.

I've seen plenty of advice on how to handle 2025. Self-care, making sure you and your loved ones are all right, taking necessary steps for your mental health, and similar advice. Which is great. I approve of those things. But did I mention the bastards are here with power tools? They literally don't care about your mental health. Working hard to wreck your health is one of their side quests for 2025. There are terrible things on the horizon. You might have to do some short-term damage to avoid long-term harm.

Hope is nice and all. I like hope. I've been reading superhero comic books for 50 years. That's what superhero comic books are - hope that the good guys win and justice prevails. I wouldn't still be reading them after all this time if I didn't believe in hope. It is a grand thing. 

But a lot of us took a beating on that front in the last few months. I did.  I believe my first Facebook post on November 6 was, "Well, there goes my faith in humanity." But hoping things will get better in the Year of the Bastard will get you nothing but buried. Hope without putting in the work is meaningless. As I have plans to be around for a few more decades, I'd like for them to not suck. That means getting up off the mat, no matter how comfortable it might be. It's better than lying there and hoping everything passes me by. And I fear I've been guilty of doing that for too many years now.

2025 is going to have more wins for the bastards than the rest of us. Just the odds of the thing. But here's the thing about bastards. They come in sub-varieties - greedy, selfish, stupid and egotistical - to name a few. And a quick view of the landscape shows there's no shortage of those out there. We can work with that. 

They're going to win more than we want, but we can make them have fewer wins than they hoped for. And you'll find with enough work and effort, you can bring the heavy machinery to the bastards too.

It's a new year. Let's go.

Last Five

1. Happy for you - Lloyd Cole
2. Turn the page - Bob Seger
3. Substitute - The Who
4. The List - Metric
5. Don't give up - Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush